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I Don't Want To Be Crazy QUOTES

I Don't Want To Be Crazy QUOTES

1 " I don't think that I am happy,
but then again, I don't know.
Sometimes I get so caught up
in the process of living--
of eating, dressing, taking the train to work,
that I don't give it enough thought.
Maybe happiness is being content.
But is it really? "

― Samantha Schutz , I Don't Want To Be Crazy

2 " I cry and wonder
how I'm going to fall asleep
because sleeping means waking
and going through all this again "

― Samantha Schutz , I Don't Want To Be Crazy

3 " I don't like this idea
It is too much focus
on something I am trying to forget
I am afraid
that this attention to detail
will only fuel my anxiety "

― Samantha Schutz , I Don't Want To Be Crazy

4 " Is this what all the years of schooling were for?
To prepare me for this
Sense of being stuck in the middle?
What was the point?
No one said I was going to be this sad.
No one said I would still be crying. "

― Samantha Schutz , I Don't Want To Be Crazy

5 " Even the pigeons are dancing, kissing,
going in circles, mounting each other.
Paris is the city of love,
even for the birds. "

― Samantha Schutz , I Don't Want To Be Crazy

6 " I hang out inseparably with someone for a few days. We devour each other, tell all our stories, and then move on. Things here are not stable. "

― Samantha Schutz , I Don't Want To Be Crazy

7 " A few months ago, leaving for college seemed glamourous, but now it’s hard to believe that this little dorm room, with its scratchy sheets and a lock that sticks, is home. It’s hard to accept that this is my new life, that these are my new friends. I am one in many here. There are dozens here as good as me, even more who are smarter, funnier. And it scares me because before I stuck out and now I blend in. "

― Samantha Schutz , I Don't Want To Be Crazy

8 " I am grown in so many ways, but in front of my parents I am still a child. I am having a hard time throwing off the skin that I pick and peel. I am the only one who can do it, but I can’t seem to let myself. "

― Samantha Schutz , I Don't Want To Be Crazy

9 " I crave broken men.
When I try to save other people
am I trying to save myself?
Am I covering up for my lack of strength
by putting people back together?
I am tired.
I want someone to save me -
build an intricate web
and place it beneath me in case I fall. "

― Samantha Schutz , I Don't Want To Be Crazy

10 " I am not happy. I am not unhappy. I am frozen somewhere in the middle that is so much worse. I am nowhere. Nothing is happening and I am getting more and more sad. "

― Samantha Schutz , I Don't Want To Be Crazy

11 " Where you are
and what you are doing
is something you have done
dozens of times before
without any problems

Recognize that you are going to get out of this
that you always get out of this
that you are going to live
that you won't go crazy

I am telling you that you will live,
because you always live,
because you are strong
and beautiful. "

― Samantha Schutz , I Don't Want To Be Crazy

12 " I want things so bad that I force them, push them until they tear. "

― Samantha Schutz , I Don't Want To Be Crazy

13 " I am the cure and the disease. "

― Samantha Schutz , I Don't Want To Be Crazy

14 " I am trying to find myself
in all of the chaos,
find something that I can call me
inside the screams and inside
the 'you shoulds' and 'you have to bes. "

― Samantha Schutz , I Don't Want To Be Crazy

15 " When I try to save other people am I trying to save myself? Am I covering up for my lack of strength by putting people back together? "

― Samantha Schutz , I Don't Want To Be Crazy

16 " I can't believe
no one else can hear
I am screaming
inside my head.
Things are moving too fast.
I am going to die.
I am going to die.
I am going to die.
My hands are shaking.
I try to squeeze them, try to make it stop,
but now my fists are shaking,
and this shaking is working it's way through me.
It must look like I am having a fit.
I want to let the scream out,
but I think if I start,
I'll never stop.
It's not supposed to be like this.
I am too young to die.
I don't know how to make this end,
and if it doesn't, I'll have to go to the hospital,
be medicated, force-fed soft foods.
I don't want to be that person.
I am not that person.
I am not.
I am not. "

― Samantha Schutz , I Don't Want To Be Crazy

17 " I am fearful of romantic dinners,
huge crowds, dusk -
of normal things-
afraid to be loved,
the one thing I want most.
Maybe it's because I don't think I deserve it
because I am not that perfect
little girl that I was supposed to be,
well manicured and well groomed,
because I have nervous breakdowns,
and take pills,
and keep moving on. "

― Samantha Schutz , I Don't Want To Be Crazy

18 " All bad nights come to an end. "

― Samantha Schutz , I Don't Want To Be Crazy

19 " I am jealous of the little kid
spinning around near the fountain.
What would these people think
if I were to start spinning
with my arms spread wide?
A lunatic on drugs, probably.
My greatest accomplishment here is not caring,
letting go of other people's opinions.
I am not wound as tight.
I can let go,
just no spinning yet. "

― Samantha Schutz , I Don't Want To Be Crazy

20 " Most days I go home crying
and my dad tells me
welcome to the real world. "

― Samantha Schutz , I Don't Want To Be Crazy