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121 " We do a great disservice to boys in how we raise them. We stifle the humanity of boys. We define masculinity in a very narrow way. Masculinity is a hard, small cage, and we put boys inside this cage. We teach boys to be afraid of fear, of weakness, of vulnerability. We teach them to mask their true selves, because they have to be, in Nigerian-speak, a hard man. "
― Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie , We Should All Be Feminists
122 " Still, I was struck by this. Because I am female, I’m expected to aspire to marriage. I am expected to make my life choices always keeping in mind that marriage is the most important. Marriage can be a good thing, a source of joy, love and mutual support. But why do we teach girls to aspire to marriage, yet we don’t teach boys to do the same? I "
123 " It is easy to say, ‘But women can just say no to all this.’ But the reality is more difficult, more complex. We are all social beings. We internalize ideas from our socialization. Even "
124 " We raise girls to see each other as competitors – not for jobs or accomplishments, which in my opinion can be a good thing, but for the attention of men. We teach girls that they cannot be sexual beings in the way boys are. If we have sons, we don’t mind knowing about their girlfriends. But our daughters’ boyfriends? God forbid. "
125 " And so girls grow up to be women who cannot say they have desire. Who silence themselves. Who cannot say what they truly think. Who have turned pretence into an art form. I "
126 " Nuestra sociedad enseña a las mujeres solteras de cierta edad a considerar su soltería un profundo fracaso personal. En cambio, un hombre de cierta edad que no se ha casado es porque todavía no ha elegido. "
127 " Some people ask: “Why the word feminist? Why not just say you are a believer in human rights, or something like that?” Because that would be dishonest. Feminism is, of course, part of human rights in general—but to choose to use the vague expression human rights is to deny the specific and particular problem of gender. It would be a way of pretending that it was not women who have, for centuries, been excluded. It would be a way of denying that the problem of gender targets women. That the problem was not about being human, but specifically about being a female human. "
128 " We have evolved. But our ideas of gender have not evolved very much. "
129 " A questão de gênero, como está estabelecida hoje em dia, é uma grande injustiça. Estou com raiva. Devemos ter raiva. Ao longo da história, muitas mudanças positivas só aconteceram por causa da raiva. Além da raiva, também tenho esperança, porque acredito profundamente na capacidade de os seres humanos evoluírem. "
130 " Anyway, since feminism was un-African, I decided I would now call myself a Happy African Feminist. Then a dear friend told me that calling myself a feminist meant that I hated men. So I decided I would now be a Happy African Feminist Who Does Not Hate Men. At some point I was a Happy African Feminist Who Does Not Hate Men and Who Likes to Wear Lip Gloss and High Heels for Herself and Not For Men. Of "
131 " And then we do a much greater disservice to girls, because we raise them to cater to the fragile egos of males. We teach girls to shrink themselves, to make themselves smaller. "
132 " If you are a woman, you are not supposed to express anger, because it is threatening. "
133 " The harder a man feels compelled to be, the weaker his ego is. And then we do a much greater disservice to girls, because we raise them to cater to the fragile egos of males. We "
134 " If we see the same thing over and over, it becomes normal. "
135 " But if we start raising children differently, then in fifty years, in a hundred years, boys will no longer have the pressure of proving their masculinity by material means. "
136 " Algumas pessoas me perguntam: “Por que usar a palavra ‘feminista’? Por que não dizer que você acredita nos direitos humanos, ou algo parecido?” Porque seria desonesto. O feminismo faz, obviamente, parte dos direitos humanos de uma forma geral — mas escolher uma expressão vaga como “direitos humanos” é negar a especificidade e particularidade do problema de gênero. Seria uma maneira de fingir que as mulheres não foram excluídas ao longo dos séculos. Seria negar que a questão de gênero tem como alvo as mulheres. Que o problema não é ser humano, mas especificamente um ser humano do sexo feminino. Por séculos, os seres humanos eram divididos em dois grupos, um dos quais excluía e oprimia o outro. É no mínimo justo que a solução para esse problema esteja no reconhecimento desse fato. "
137 " In secondary school, a boy and a girl go out, both of them teenagers with meager pocket money. Yet the boy is expected to pay the bills, always, to prove his masculinity. (And we wonder why boys are more likely to steal money from their parents.) What "
138 " I was not worried at all—it had not even occurred to me to be worried, because a man who will be intimidated by me is exactly the kind of man I would have no interest in. "
139 " A world of happier men and happier women who are truer to themselves "
140 " We say to girls: You can have ambition, but not too much. You should aim to be successful but not too successful, otherwise you will threaten the man. "