Home > Work > Beyond Mars and Venus: Taking Your Relationship to the Next Level
1 " This distinction also helps us to understand why men commonly interrupt a woman when she is talking about a problem. This interruption generally occurs in an intimate relationship when a woman is not looking to solve a problem but instead is talking in order to feel better or closer to her partner. "
― John Gray , Beyond Mars and Venus: Taking Your Relationship to the Next Level
2 " When confronted with a problem, a man wants to solve it while a woman often wants to talk about it first. For women, talking and then feeling heard and understood stimulates oxytocin, which allows her estrogen levels to rise and her stress to decrease. Through expressing her feelings, she is able to return to her female side, which balances her hormones and lowers her stress levels. In this way she is better able to cope with life’s inevitable external stresses. "
3 " When a woman is upset about something, men either want to suggest a solution (which is why they interrupt) or encourage her to forget it, and while she is talking about it, they can do neither. But there’s another reason men often interrupt women when they are upset and talking about a problem: they incorrectly interpret her strong emotional reaction to moderate external stress. A man wrongly assumes that if a woman is getting upset then it is because she can’t solve her problems on her own. He interprets her stronger emotional response as an urgent need for help, and then tries to give it. "
4 " Men do become very emotional when they have a big upset. "
5 " Trust does not mean believing that he is perfect or that he is always right, but rather it is about trusting that he has positive intentions. He needs to get the message from her, again and again, that when he shows up, his best is good enough for her. "
6 " Men particularly need more acceptance when they are stressed because acceptance stimulates more testosterone in him and lowers his stress. Likewise, women need more understanding when they are stressed because understanding stimulates more oxytocin and estrogen in her and lowers her stress. Acceptance means not correcting or trying to improve someone. It is not trying to change your partner. Acceptance to a man may sound like this: “It is no big deal; next time, would you give me a call when you are late? "
7 " Wanting to improve someone feels like love but it is not. Changing ourselves to do what works instead of trying to change our partner, letting go of judgment, and finding forgiveness are the true expressions of love. "
8 " Let there be spaces in your togetherness: And let the winds of the heavens dance between you . . . stand together, yet not too near together: For the pillars of the temple stand apart, and the oak tree and the cypress grow not in each other’s shadow. In "
9 " Global studies reveal that as women become more educated and financially independent, their risk of staying single or getting a divorce increases, their happiness decreases, and their stress levels rise. "
10 " love. If a stranger rejects you, it has little effect, but when someone you care about rejects you, it can be so painful that, to protect ourselves, we withdraw and close our hearts as we automatically put up walls and defenses. "
11 " The greatest emotional pain we can experience in life occurs when we stop sharing our love with the people we love the most. "
12 " Male Stress Symptoms The steady production of testosterone is linked to a man’s well-being. When a man is confronted with external stressors, eventually his testosterone levels become depleted. They become even more depleted when different aspects of his male side become overshadowed by overexpressed characteristics of his female side. When his testosterone is low or his estrogen is too high, he is more vulnerable to a wide range of male stress symptoms. "
13 " These are some of the most common symptoms of chronic stress in a man. Quite often they unfold in the following order over time, unless he is unable to find a way to return to his masculine side. 1.Low motivation 2.Apathy 3.Rigidity or stubbornness 4.Grumpiness 5.Anger and irritability 6.Resistance to change "
14 " Even with self-love, receiving love still makes a big difference. It is like knowing you are beautiful or handsome and then looking in the mirror to be extra delighted by seeing the true radiance of who you are. Seeing yourself in the reflection of your Soul Mate’s eyes creates a greater fulfillment than you can experience alone. "
15 " I borrowed the term from a particular American Indian tradition. When a bride married her husband, her mother told her that after marriage, at the end of the day, a man would withdraw into his cave. At those times, don’t go in his cave or you will be burned by his dragon. She was referring of course to a man’s anger. "
16 " Similarly, if he is watching a game to forget his problems but his wife disapproves of his actions, the feeling that he is letting her down can prevent him from rebuilding his testosterone levels. "
17 " Always remember you are needed in this world and that your commitment, character, and higher love make all the difference. "
