Home > Work > Hounded (The Iron Druid Chronicles, #1)
41 " [T]he pain was unspeakable, worse than reading the collected works of Edith Wharton. "
― Kevin Hearne , Hounded (The Iron Druid Chronicles, #1)
42 " How can one freeze and put their hands above their head at the same time? Do they teach cops to shout contradictory instructions at suspects at the academy for some sinister purpose? If I obeyed one cop, did the other cop get to shoot me for resisting arrest? "
43 " landed on my chest and stuck its proboscis "
44 " The witch obviously wanted my help with something, and I could only assume that she wanted a new body to inhabit. But I didn’t have any of those currently in stock, and bodies were one of the few things you couldn’t buy (yet) on Amazon. "
45 " Oberon asked me. After my bathtime story, he wanted to be the Genghis Khan of dogs. He wanted a harem full of French poodles, all of whom were named either Fifi or Bambi. It was an amusing habit of his: Oberon had, in the past, wanted to be Vlad the Impaler, Joan of Arc, Bertrand Russell, and any other historical figure I had recently told him about while he was getting a thorough cleansing. His Liberace period had been particularly good for my soul: You haven’t lived until you’ve seen an Irish wolfhound parading around in rhinestone-studded gold lamé. "
46 " What does one do when one needs to pray to the gods for patience but a god is causing the need for patience? "
47 " What? Who? You can't throw around pronouns like that without their antecedents if you want people to follow you. "
48 " At this point we hated each other as much as it was possible for two Irishmen to do-and that's quite a bit. "
49 " You hear that? The nice blonde in her thirties is actually more than 140 years old. "
50 " Iron can be bent to your will, if your will is stronger than the iron. But "
51 " Silly cop, I don't need your help; I have a werewolf on retainer. "
52 " Hordes, not whores. He had both, though, now that you mention it. You have no idea. "
53 " When Kevin Costner asks his dad at the end if he’d like to have a catch, I just completely lose my shit. Any guy who doesn’t is either in mixed company when he sees it or was blessed with an unusually sensitive father. "
54 " the universe is exactly the size that your soul can encompass. Some people live in extremely small worlds, and some live in a world of infinite possibility. You "
55 " intoxicated "
56 " I have dinner for the whole crew at Mitchell Park in Tempe right now. Bring the truck.… Yes, there is enough for everybody, trust me. See you there.” Whoa. He had ghouls on speed dial. My lawyer kicks so much ass. "
57 " Giving a witch your body fluids is akin to slicing off a choice cut of your buttocks and offering it to a werewolf. "
58 " one cannot sass me with impunity. "
59 " Other people in my life right now, who help me forget all the other people I have buried or lost: They are truly magic for me. "
60 " When you cannot reason with people, you have to try scaring them. If that doesn’t work, then you either run or you kill them. Or set your lawyers on them. "