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Better Off Without 'Em: A Northern Manifesto for Southern Secession QUOTES

Better Off Without 'Em: A Northern Manifesto for Southern Secession QUOTES

1 " Country jakes are always whining about the sanctity of states' rights and individual freedoms. Yet when a couple of queers want to get married in Massachusetts, half the South goes apeshit with homemade posters and fire-breathing sermons. And when a few million concerned residents of states thousands of miles away decide they want to stop destroying their landscape in the name of corporate mammon and consumer stupidity, the South sends out its greasy merchants of avarice to cajole, bribe, hector, lie, intimidate, and "lobby" until the seed of their plantation mentality is protected and their gluttonous mouths are once again filled with the jizz of the master caste before whom they kneel like Bourbon Street whores on Navy payday. "

― , Better Off Without 'Em: A Northern Manifesto for Southern Secession

2 " any time you hear a politician or corporate head make a statement like this, you should substitute the words “worker” or “common man” for “union,” because that’s what it really means. "

― , Better Off Without 'Em: A Northern Manifesto for Southern Secession

3 " Southerners tax themselves less and make up for the shortfall by snaking a disproportionate amount of federal tax dollars from states outside their region. "

― , Better Off Without 'Em: A Northern Manifesto for Southern Secession

4 " Results—not “strides” or “hopes” or “improvements”—are the only things that will save us. "

― , Better Off Without 'Em: A Northern Manifesto for Southern Secession

5 " Here’s a secret intel bulletin for all y’all who’ve never left Yoknapatawpha County and imagine the United States is constantly on the precipice of enemy invasion—the only way this country is ever going to surrender its liberty to a foreign power is if it keeps electing corrupt officials who auction it away to multinational corporations and overseas government interests in exactly the fashion that southern star chambers have been doing to their own people throughout their entire dyspeptic history. "

― , Better Off Without 'Em: A Northern Manifesto for Southern Secession

6 " we prefer to affirm civilization through logic and reason, not with the myopic, exclusionary bias and anti-intellectual fanaticism that have been the twin hallmarks of southern culture for going on parts of four centuries "

― , Better Off Without 'Em: A Northern Manifesto for Southern Secession

7 " To [thousands of] children, to be born in Arkansas is a misfortune and an injustice from which they will never recover and upon which they will look back with bitterness when plunged, in adult life, into competition with children born in other states which are today providing more liberally for their children. "

― , Better Off Without 'Em: A Northern Manifesto for Southern Secession

8 " college grads are an endlessly naive bunch who believe that suffering will transform them into the kind of well-rounded human beings their suburban upbringings failed to make them. "

― , Better Off Without 'Em: A Northern Manifesto for Southern Secession

9 " success or failure in minority education means success or failure for the U.S. "

― , Better Off Without 'Em: A Northern Manifesto for Southern Secession

10 " Southern states simply do not believe in funding education to the extent that northern states do. "

― , Better Off Without 'Em: A Northern Manifesto for Southern Secession

11 " Since the 1970s, international businesses have flocked to the South mostly for the cheap, nonunion labor and reliable quasi-fascist government/business circle-jerk guaranteed by “our orifices are open for business” state and county officials. "

― , Better Off Without 'Em: A Northern Manifesto for Southern Secession

12 " the three pillars of southern economic philosophy—abuse labor, fellate corporate interests (especially foreign ones), and fuck the environment—I "

― , Better Off Without 'Em: A Northern Manifesto for Southern Secession

13 " Developing nations take American jobs by attracting multinational companies with easily exploitable workers who, conditioned by years of native poverty, demand less money and expect fewer benefits than American workers. What few Americans realize, however, is that for decades one of the most predatory and destructive of these “foreign” countries has been the South. "

― , Better Off Without 'Em: A Northern Manifesto for Southern Secession