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21 " My brother was standing behind some trees, waving at me.I hurried my pace. “Gage. What are you doing here?” I pushed him deeper into the trees and looked over my shoulder. The walkway was clear. My shoulders sagged in relief. I gave his chest a good whack. “First rule of Clarke Club. We don’t know each other. "
― Tijan , Hate to Love You
22 " The four formed a clique, and while I wasn’t really in the clique, I hung out with them on occasion. I was Kristina’s friend, but she was the type who was friendly with everyone. If this had been high school, I would’ve given up because Kristina would’ve had thirty other friends. I was lucky. I got her the first week of college when she didn’t have umpteen friends already. Besides the other three, I knew Kristina considered me one of her closest gal pals at college.I needed it. I needed her. My other option was my stuffy roommate and her friends.I frowned. Maybe I was the problem?Nah.I shook my head and moved forward with the line. That couldn’t be the case. I oozed warmth. I drew people to me like sap to bears. Come and eat me, animals.My lip twitched.Even my own jokes were pathetic. "
23 " He rested on his back, loosening his hold on me, and I turned over so I was lying on my side, facing him. I rested a hand on his chest, and his eyes watched mine until his hand found my own.I murmured, “I don’t regret that.”He hooked his finger around mine. “Really?”I nodded. I couldn’t, not anymore. Not after we made out in my closet, then my bed, and after I was practically begging him for it at the bar.I croaked, “I touched your bulge.”He started laughing, curving more into me. “You did.”“It was the most momentous and memorable part of the night.”I was grinning.He lifted his head. “Really?”He wasn’t.I nodded. “For sure. I became the definition of a wanton hussy.”He started laughing again.I kept going, “I can imagine all the stories that start with, ‘The day she touched my bulge’, or ‘The day I touched his bulge,’ ‘The moment my hand felt his jeans, and his dick swelled underneath’, or even . . .” I was laughing now, “‘I laid my hands on him, right over his jeans, and he rose up. He answered my call. I called out, Come forth, hard penis, and answer milady’s beckoning. My hips call upon your touch. You must heed and give forth plentiful of your pleasure.’”He continued laughing, wrapping his arms around me, and somehow he had curled his entire body around mine again. I was lying on my back once more, and he stopped, lifting his head from my neck. He gazed down at me, shifting to rise up on his elbow. He caught some hairs and tucked them behind my ear, letting his hand linger there, holding me gently.He grew serious. “I want to keep doing this.”I rested my hand over his on my face. “Fucking me from behind?”He grinned and then sobered. “No. This, whatever it is. We don’t need to put words to it, if you don’t want to.”I groaned. “Please, don’t. I tend to get bitchy when words are applied to situations "
24 " Missy and her crew left, I was alone. Like really alone, like pre-Shay alone.It felt glorious.Well, maybe not. I didn’t feel right about Shay, but I’d see him in a day. We could sort out whatever happened on his street. Till then, I studied to my heart’s content. I made trips to my dorm’s computer lab, and I even got naughty. I stole some of the computer’s printing papers, stuffing them down the front of my shirt. My inner dork was coming out full-force. It was like I’d been around “cool” people too much for my system. It was rebelling. It needed an outlet, and I indulged. All of the colored highlighters came out. Not just the primary colors, all of them. I used pink for one textbook, and added purple on the next.All caution was thrown to the wind. It was only eight, but I went to the library.I really let my freak out.An energy drink. Coffee from the cart. My own Twizzlers this time. Even a bag of chocolate candies. I was going nuts on the caffeine and sugar, and then I found an empty study room on the top and most isolated floor in the library.I stayed until midnight.It was some of the best studying I’ve had. Ever. Mind-blowing. "
25 " Her best friend and the best friend’s cousin also lived in our dorm. I went once to an ice cream shop with them and saw the pity in their eyes when Missy relayed the lack of Titanic in my life. I was put in the help category. Meaning, they thought I needed help and I was no longer in their group because it’s obvy I’m weird.Dirty Dancing, A Walk to Remember, Hope Floats, and so many other movies were the repertoire of their conversation. I wasn’t allowed in. There were inside jokes, inside quotes, even a weird inside-type of laugh.The one friend I did have was Kristina. She was a gift from above, though she lived two floors below, and I always jumped at her movie night invite.Sometimes, I was tempted to ask how high, but I refrained. She wouldn’t have gotten the joke.See, I could have my own inside jokes. Take that, snotty roommate and two friends.Insert karate chop here. "
