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1 " Fuckity, fuck, fuck, "
― Eli Easton , Five Dares
2 " When there’s a conflict between what’s practical and what the heart wants, the heart usually wins. And when it doesn’t, there’s regret. A lot of regret. "
3 " What do I want? I stared at him stupidly. What I wanted was to be with Andy forever, for us to be together, openly, in front of the world. I wanted to come home to him after work every day and hold him every night. I wanted to throw popcorn at each other while watching movies and join a soccer league on the weekends. I wanted to be there when he graduated from law school. I wanted not to have my heart shattered into a million pieces. I wanted not to be broken for however many years it was going to take me to get over this. I couldn’t have those things, though. And it wasn’t fair. "
4 " He’d always had this death wish, I realized, something inside him that had its finger on the self-destruct button. "
5 " Outwardly, everything was good. But there was a black, empty space where my heart had once been. "
6 " I wondered how long it would take until I could get through an entire day without once wishing I was dead. "
7 " So why was my gut twisted up in a stubborn knot that refused to relax? Why did it feel like my heart was bruised and bleeding and shriveling up incremental bit by incremental bit, every day that passed? "
8 " His fingers traced patterns on my back. My heart hurt. And, still, I held him. "
9 " It turns out I’m miserable without you. So miserable, I was hoping you’d promise me we’d never have to be apart again. I love you. Whatever it takes for us to build a life together, I’ll do it. "