Home > Work > Mrs. Lane Is a Pain! (My Weirder School, #12)
1 " I don’t get it. For the first few years of your life, all grown-ups do is teach you how to talk. And then, for the rest of your life, all they do is tell you to stop talking. What’s up with that? "
― Dan Gutman , Mrs. Lane Is a Pain! (My Weirder School, #12)
2 " My friend Alexia and I were the knights. We got on "
3 " Kids, please don’t try this at home. We’re professionals. "
4 " No,” said Mr. Klutz firmly. “Regular farts do not qualify as a talent.” “That’s not fair!” somebody shouted. “Yeah, if armpit farts are a talent, then real farts should be a talent, too,” said Neil the nude kid. “That’s discrimination against certain kinds of farts!” said Alexia. “And we were taught that discrimination is wrong.” “Yeah!” Everybody started talking about farting and discrimination until Mr. Klutz made the shut-up peace sign again. “Are there any questions that don’t concern farting?” he asked. Emily raised her hand. “What if somebody doesn’t have a talent?” she asked. “Does that mean they can’t be in the talent show?” Mrs. Lane came down off the stage and went over to Emily. “Everybody has talent, sweetie,” she said. “I’m sure y’all can do something that most other people can’t do. For instance, maybe y’all can play the spoons.” Mrs. Lane pulled two spoons out of her pocket and started hitting them against her legs in rhythm. It was cool. “I can’t do that,” said Emily. “Well, maybe y’all can yodel,” said Mrs. Lane. Mrs. Lane started yodeling. It was cool. “I can’t do that either,” said Emily. “Or maybe y’all can turn your eyelids inside out,” Mrs. Lane said. And then she turned her eyelids inside "
5 " Each child blah blah blah blah two minutes blah blah blah blah at the end blah blah blah blah please do not take flash pictures blah blah blah blah our judges will decide blah blah blah blah blah . . . "
6 " talented! "
