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1 " parents "
― Daniel J. Siegel , Parenting From the Inside Out
2 " When parents don’t take responsibility for their own unfinished business, they miss an opportunity not only to become better parents but also to continue their own development. People who remain in the dark about the origins of their behaviors and intense emotional responses are unaware of their unresolved issues and the parental ambivalence they create. "
3 " How we treat our children changes who they are and how they will develop. Their brains need our parental involvement. Nature needs nurture. "
4 " The immature brain of the child is so sensitive to social experience that adoptive parents should in fact also be called the biological parents because the family experiences they create shape the biological structure of their child’s brain. "
5 " Creating stories through play, and presumably through our dreams, may be ways in which the mind attempts to “make sense” of our experiences and consolidate this understanding into a picture of our selves in the world. "
6 " understand. Such an approach "
7 " When we are preoccupied with the past or worried about the future, we are physically present with our children but are mentally absent. "
8 " emotionally autonomous existence. "
9 " their parents. Abuse is incompatible "
10 " Parents often respond to their child’s behavior by focusing on the surface level of the experience and not on the deeper level of the mind. "
11 " As interns we attempted to avoid the overwhelming awareness of the patients’ passive, helpless, and vulnerable experience by identifying ourselves only as active, empowered, and invulnerable medical workers. The child’s vulnerability became a threat to our active but nonconscious effort to avoid our feelings of vulnerability and helplessness. In retrospect, the children’s vulnerability became the enemy. "
12 " Some estimate the number of firing patterns of the brain—on/off profiles of total brain activation that are possible—to be ten times ten one million times, or ten to the millionth power. The human brain is thought to be the most complex thing in the universe, artificial or natural. "
13 " It is unhelpful to pit these interdependent processes against each other in simplistic debates such as experience versus biology, or nature versus nurture. In fact, experience shapes brain structure. Experience is biology. "
14 " The immature brain of the child is so sensitive to social experience that adoptive parents should in fact also be called the biological parents because the family experiences they create shape the biological structure of their child’s brain. Being a birth parent is only one way parents biologically shape their children’s lives. "
15 " Implicit recollections without explicit processing may be the source of the experience of flashbacks in the extreme case; more commonly it may serve as the origin of rigid implicit mental models that block a parent’s ability to remain flexible and attuned to a child. "
16 " be that excessive stress and hormonal secretion during a trauma directly impair the functioning of parts of the brain necessary for autobiographical memories to be stored. After the trauma, recollection of those details encoded in only nonverbal form will likely evoke distressful emotions that can be deeply disturbing. "
17 " Taking time to reflect opens the door to conscious awareness, which brings with it the possibility of change. "