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I love Blue Ribbon Coffee QUOTES

I love Blue Ribbon Coffee QUOTES

1 " If there are #coffee stains on my @Harvard application, it’s because I was up all night Photoshopping a high school diploma. Please accept my apology, and please accept me. "

― Jarod Kintz , I love Blue Ribbon Coffee

2 " I tried to wear my shirt while it was still on the hanger. That’s just the kind of morning person I am with no coffee. "

― Jarod Kintz , I love Blue Ribbon Coffee

3 " The bottom of a cup of coffee is not as good as the bottom of her body—which is actually in the middle of her body. "

― Jarod Kintz , I love Blue Ribbon Coffee

4 " I drink sleep, but not like I drink coffee. I chug one and sip the other. "

― Jarod Kintz , I love Blue Ribbon Coffee

5 " I’m 32 years old and I’m tired. It’s because I haven’t drank enough coffee. If I had, I’d probably only be 29. "

― Jarod Kintz , I love Blue Ribbon Coffee

6 " I poured a compass into my coffee, to give the flavor some direction. "

― Jarod Kintz , I love Blue Ribbon Coffee

7 " My favorite salad dressing is vodka. And my favorite ice cream flavor is coffee, though I prefer it melted and hot enough to burn flesh. "

― Jarod Kintz , I love Blue Ribbon Coffee

8 " Love is a lot like coffee, I once thought as I suckled on a milky nipple. But I was one at the time, so what did I know about coffee? "

― Jarod Kintz , I love Blue Ribbon Coffee

9 " When I saw a murder taking place, I almost didn’t have time to make coffee before stopping it. But thank God I did, because otherwise somebody would have died—and even worse, I’d be tired. "

― Jarod Kintz , I love Blue Ribbon Coffee

10 " In exchange for my silence, I want a box of quiet. Empty—and full.
That’s also how I like my morning coffee at night. "

― Jarod Kintz , I love Blue Ribbon Coffee

11 " When I go house hunting, I use a rather large gun. You should see me fish for the best tasting Starbucks coffee. Oh, and can I borrow your plunger? "

― Jarod Kintz , I love Blue Ribbon Coffee

12 " Word of mouth is often louder than word of hand, although applause can be deafening. I clap like Helen Keller drank coffee—with two spoonfuls of silence. "

― Jarod Kintz , I love Blue Ribbon Coffee

13 " I need either a small coffee or a large nap. "

― Jarod Kintz , I love Blue Ribbon Coffee

14 " A unicorn breathes rainbows like a dragon breathes fire. My coffee breathes Jarod Kintz quotes. "

― Jarod Kintz , I love Blue Ribbon Coffee

15 " The smell of coffee was enough to wake up my neighbors. In a display of gratitude, they complained about my music being too loud. "

― Jarod Kintz , I love Blue Ribbon Coffee

16 " I stood under the umbrella for hours before I folded it up and started walking. Umbrellas can block the sun, shield the rain, and if you flip an open one over, it can also be used as a large coffee cup. "

― Jarod Kintz , I love Blue Ribbon Coffee

17 " A bathroom that doubles as an elevator would be a great place to open a coffee shop—but only if it’s a Starbucks. "

― Jarod Kintz , I love Blue Ribbon Coffee

18 " Coffee and donuts go together like government policy and subsequent poverty. "

― Jarod Kintz , I love Blue Ribbon Coffee

19 " I think coffee is the best drink known to man. I also think that wine is the best drink known to woman. "

― Jarod Kintz , I love Blue Ribbon Coffee

20 " Karate, I get a real kick out of it. I would get a kick out of coffee, but I’ve got better ways of stirring, like renting Michael Phelps’ 400 IM time. "

― Jarod Kintz , I love Blue Ribbon Coffee