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Whenever You're Gone, I'm Here For You QUOTES

Whenever You're Gone, I'm Here For You QUOTES

1 " I’m not a very good sleeper. But you know what? I’m willing to put in a few extra hours every day to get better. That’s just the kind of hard worker I am. "

― Jarod Kintz , Whenever You're Gone, I'm Here For You

2 " The police called it choking, but I called it a two-handed neck hug. That’s how I knew she really loved me. "

― Jarod Kintz , Whenever You're Gone, I'm Here For You

3 " My love is expansive. Your love is expensive. "

― Jarod Kintz , Whenever You're Gone, I'm Here For You

4 " When the silent flamingo dances pink with desire, I’ll be there, sipping on owl stares and kitten curls. "

― Jarod Kintz , Whenever You're Gone, I'm Here For You

5 " It’s easier to hide your smoking habit on a foggy day. Let that be a lesson for you and your secret lover. "

― Jarod Kintz , Whenever You're Gone, I'm Here For You

6 " When you're here, I'm there for you. And when you're there, I'm here for you. "

― Jarod Kintz , Whenever You're Gone, I'm Here For You

7 " I don’t mind waiting rooms. I’m waiting on the love of my life, so I may as well have a seat, right? "

― Jarod Kintz , Whenever You're Gone, I'm Here For You

8 " To me, impulsive means foolish. But if a person’s not a little impulsive, they don’t have a pulse. "

― Jarod Kintz , Whenever You're Gone, I'm Here For You

9 " I loved her so much, but she vanished from my life. She didn’t just suddenly disappear, but she slowly began losing her opacity until eventually her transparency was 100%. "

― Jarod Kintz , Whenever You're Gone, I'm Here For You

10 " My facial hair is imperative. I put the must in mustache. "

― Jarod Kintz , Whenever You're Gone, I'm Here For You

11 " I don’t need a steak knife to cut my meat. That’s why karate chops were created. I’m like a butter knife, only slightly less deadly. But I’m great with bagels—and disobedient old people. "

― Jarod Kintz , Whenever You're Gone, I'm Here For You

12 " I consider seeing my 30th birthday an accomplishment. You know, not many midgets live to be this tall. "

― Jarod Kintz , Whenever You're Gone, I'm Here For You

13 " Mustaches are so cool that I not only have one—I have two. I wear both of mine above my eyes. "

― Jarod Kintz , Whenever You're Gone, I'm Here For You

14 " Can you break my five-dollar bill into five singles? Women love guys with lots of money. "

― Jarod Kintz , Whenever You're Gone, I'm Here For You

15 " I lost my virginity in the back seat of a Buick. Not because I’m a romantic, but because my grandpa and grandma were in the front seats. "

― Jarod Kintz , Whenever You're Gone, I'm Here For You

16 " To the potluck I brought something I randomly found in my fridge. It was the source of the stink. "

― Jarod Kintz , Whenever You're Gone, I'm Here For You

17 " A job is like a politician struggling in the water. Be sure you hold it down. "

― Jarod Kintz , Whenever You're Gone, I'm Here For You

18 " To keep my cat from drinking out of the toilet, I could close the toilet lid, I could close the bathroom door, or I could pull my straw out of the water and stop setting a bad example. "

― Jarod Kintz , Whenever You're Gone, I'm Here For You

19 " Number one on my list of things to do before I die is become immortal. Obviously there is no number two on my list. "

― Jarod Kintz , Whenever You're Gone, I'm Here For You

20 " If you’re a cannibal, an Olympic sprinter would be considered fast food. "

― Jarod Kintz , Whenever You're Gone, I'm Here For You