Home > Work > Better Decisions, Fewer Regrets: 5 Questions to Help You Determine Your Next Move
1 " Five Questions 1. The Integrity Question Am I being honest with myself, really? Decision #1: I will not lie to myself even the truth makes me feel bad about myself. 2. The Legacy Question What story do I want to tell? Decision #2: I will write a story I’m proud to tell one decision at a time. 3. The Conscience Question Is there a tension that needs my attention? Decision #3: I will explore rather than ignore my conscience. 4. The Maturity Question What is the wise thing to do? Decision #4: I will take the past, present, and future into consideration 5. The Relationship Question What does love require of me? Decision #5: I will decide with the interests of others in mind. "
― Andy Stanley , Better Decisions, Fewer Regrets: 5 Questions to Help You Determine Your Next Move
2 " God will always nudge us in the direction of kindness, goodness, gentleness, faithfulness, and self-control.16 When in doubt, max those out. "
3 " Generally speaking, it is God’s will that everyone be honest with themselves . . . really. It’s God’s will that we all pay attention to anything that dings our consciences. It’s God’s will for each of us to take into account our past experiences, current circumstances, and future hopes and dreams. It’s God’s will that we understand what love requires of us. So each of our five questions points us in the direction of God’s general will for our lives. His general will is directional. In most instances, it’s all the direction we need. "
4 " Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.3 "
5 " Love fills the gaps. Love reduces the friction created by our limited insight, knowledge, and judgment-inhibiting experiences. There is much I don’t know. There are things I’ll never understand. But my ignorance does not impede my capacity to put others first. "
6 " Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is— "
7 " Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will. "
8 " Your regrets are only part of your story. They don’t have to be the story. Your past should remind you. It doesn’t have to define you. "
9 " Because of the pressure to fit in and to please, we can find ourselves making decisions that don’t align with our highest good. When we make decisions from the fear of being judged and/or rejected, we doom ourselves to this people-pleasing brand of decision-making. "
10 " As Paul Naeger reminds us in his excellent article Red Flag Decision Making, Emotions serve a purpose, informing us what to do. If our brain comes across something and categorizes it as a “red flag,” we will be notified through thoughts and feelings created by emotion. This “red flag” alerts us to pay attention. Our emotions act as a cueing system notifying us to pay attention and take action. "
11 " As you consider your options, as you consider moving down a particular path, as you consider what to do next, if there’s any hesitation around a particular alternative, pause and allow . . . and I don’t know any other way to say this . . . allow that emotion, that tension, to rise up and get as big as it can possibly get before you decide. Don’t start selling yourself. As we’ve discussed, we have the ability to sell ourselves right past that pesky tension that deserves our attention. "
12 " most of us want to be proven right more than we want to know what’s true. We aren’t on truth quests. We’re on confirmation quests. "
13 " But David felt something else as well. A tension. A hesitation. Something wasn’t exactly right about all of this. But that inner hesitation made no sense in light of the circumstances in which he and his loyal men found themselves. "
14 " One of the reasons we ignore the tension when we are making decisions . . . one reason we push through and ignore the advice of other people or the voice of our conscience is: We believe we can predict outcomes. Don’t we? We think we know. But we don’t know. You don’t always predict outcomes accurately, do you? Does anybody? If you’ve ever been disappointed, you know this to be the case. "
15 " Don’t good things come to good people? "