10
" I AM NOT SORRY
I’m sorry
I’m cold with you.
I’m sorry
at times,
I don’t know what to do
or what to say.
And I’m sorry
I never have
the right words
for you.
It’s just,
I’ve dealt with hearts
that don’t break
too lightly.
Hard hearts, you know . . .
hearts that have seen
too much,
felt too much
to even flinch
a little
when it all goes wrong.
And I’ve dealt
with fragile hearts, too,
ones that shatter
the moment the air shifts
away from them.
Yes, life is hard
and loving someone
is even harder,
and right now
you caught me
at a difficult time
in my life,
a time
where I put myself first.
A time
where I only have
my own problems
to care about,
to deal with.
Yes, it is true,
I know it sounds selfish,
but I love who I am
and because of that,
I don’t want to sugarcoat
how it is . . .
that is,
if the world is fucked up
then that’s how
I want you to see it,
you know?
I won’t protect you
from the truth,
from what hurts.
I’m not afraid
to make you feel bad
at the cost of being honest,
at the cost
of being myself.
Shit,
as if we don’t have it
bad enough already.
And yes,
I know the both of us
have let go
many people,
both good and bad,
and because of it,
if I must break you,
then I will.
And if you must
break me . . .
then so be it.
I love you,
and I’m ready
no matter what you do
or what you say.
I am here.
I am here.
I am here.
And I
have nowhere else
to go. "
― R.H. Sin , Empty Bottles Full of Stories
13
" drunk beneath a pale moon.
I’m in a room, a dark room. Surrounded by candles, the light is flickering off the wall. The flame dances to the silence and the sound of me breathing. I feel alone, nearing loneliness, alone, overthinking. I feel sadness lurking near the windows of my heart as the wrong thoughts overcrowd my mind. I can’t sleep, and so I just lie here with my eyes searching the ceiling for an imperfection, tracing old lines in the paint that give off this illusion of the foundation cracking. This is something I can relate to, being imperfect, feeling as if I’ll crack beneath the weight of it all. "
― R.H. Sin , Empty Bottles Full of Stories