2
" Beth took the binoculars. “Boys,” she answered.
“Right.”
“Spying on us!” she said, starting to smile.
“Right again.”
“What are we going to do?”
Eddie laughed. “Give them something to look at.”
“But what?”
“We’ll see,” said Eddie.
Caroline smiled to herself. Whatever did girls do without sisters? She took the binoculars again and watched as the four boys across the river slowly made their way back down the trapdoor in the roof.
“Whatever we do, it’s got to be good,” said Eddie. “If they want a show, we’ll give them something to talk about.”
“Like what?” Beth insisted. “Dance naked around the yard?”
Eddie gave her a pained look and was quiet a moment, thinking. At last she said, “Somebody has to die, and Caroline’s it.”
“Eddie! "
― Phyllis Reynolds Naylor , The Boys Start the War (Boy/Girl Battle, #1)
5
" The first thing he usually did when he got home was shower, but today he could scarcely make it into the house because the boys were blocking the steps.
“How y’doin’?” he said, maneuvering around them and going inside. The boys got up and followed him.
“Anything exciting happen today?” Jake inquired.
“I told Mrs. Blake I wouldn’t deliver her mail unless she kept her dog in the house,” Father said. “Almost got my pants torn off by that beast of hers. Other than that, no.”
“Anybody die?” asked Peter. Wally reached over and pinched his arm, but it was too late.
“Not that I know of. Why? Did I miss something?”
“I guess we’re getting bored,” Jake said quickly. “Nothing exciting ever happens around here.”
“Well, you could always go check out that new family,” Father suggested. “Mr. Malloy is the new football coach at the college, I hear, and they’ve got three daughters about your ages.”
“Did you meet them?” asked Josh.
“No, but I will before too long. Want me to say something for you?”
“No!” cried the four boys together.
Father smiled a little as he took off his shirt. “Okay, then. We’ll just let things develop and see what happens.”
What happens, Wally thought, is that someone’s going to find the body, and someone is going to ask questions, and someone—namely Wally himself—was going to jail. All because of two words. Two words! Dead fish. He swallowed, but it didn’t get rid of the rock in the pit of his stomach. "
― Phyllis Reynolds Naylor , The Boys Start the War (Boy/Girl Battle, #1)
6
" They’re coming!” Josh yelled.
Like a whirlwind the twins rushed downstairs, where Peter was waiting. With Wally bringing up the rear they all went outside.
The two older Malloy sisters, wearing jeans and long shirts down to their knees, were walking arm in arm across the swinging bridge, leaning on each other, like two girls who had more sadness than they could possibly bear, Wally thought.
As they came closer, the Hatford brothers pretended to be looking down the road, at the sky, anywhere, in fact, except at the Malloys.
“Ask!” Jake whispered to Josh.
“You ask!” said Josh. “You always try to make me do it.”
“Wally, you do it,” said Jake.
“Why me? What the heck am I supposed to say?”
The girls had reached the middle of the narrow bridge now and, still walking side by side, held on to the cable handrails as the bridge bounced slightly beneath their weight.
“If one of us doesn’t ask, Peter will,” Josh warned. “He’ll say something dumb, like ‘Have you buried anyone lately?’”
“I will not!” snapped Peter. "
― Phyllis Reynolds Naylor , The Boys Start the War (Boy/Girl Battle, #1)
8
" She followed Wally up front where Miss Applebaum was placing two chairs, face to face, about three feet apart.
“I want you to sit here,” she told them, “and I want you to talk to each other for ten minutes. Perhaps at the end of that time you will have said everything there is to say, and there will be no more disturbances in class.”
No! Caroline thought. She would rather be paddled! One minute would be bad enough, five minutes would be cruel and unusual punishment, and ten was torture!
She lowered herself sideways into one of the chairs. What was she supposed to say to a boy who, up until that morning, had thought she was dead?
Miss Applebaum stood with arms folded. “Well? I’m waiting.”
Caroline crossed her ankles. “You started it,” she said to Wally.
“What did I do?” he mumbled, sitting sideways himself.
“Dumping all that dead stuff on our side of the river.”
“So you pretended to die.”
“Is this a normal conversation?” asked Miss Applebaum as she picked up a box of supplies and headed for the closet at the back of the room.
“No,” said Caroline, but she was talking to Wally, not her teacher. “This is not a normal conversation because you and your brothers aren’t normal human beings. Normal people don’t go dumping dead fish and birds around the neighborhood.”
“It wasn’t my idea,” said Wally. “Well, actually it was my idea—dead fish, I mean—but it was Jake and Josh who—”
“So none of you are normal.”
“We’re not normal?” said Wally, his voice rising. “What do you call people who go burying each other in the river?”
“It was a great performance, and you know it.”
“It was dumb.”
“You believed I was dead.”
“I believe you’re crazy.”
“We’ll see about that.”
“Whatever you two are arguing about, you’d better get it out of your systems now, because when you come to school tomorrow, I expect you to pay attention,” Miss Applebaum called, sticking her head out of the supply closet.
“You and your dumb brothers,” Caroline muttered because she couldn’t think of anything else to say.
“You and your stupid sisters,” said Wally.
“We’re smarter than the four of you put together,” Caroline told him.
“We’ll see,” said Wally.
“If you’d just left us alone instead of dumping that dead stuff, things would be okay,” said Caroline.
“If you’d go back where you came from, there wouldn’t be any more trouble,” Wally replied.
“Oh, yeah? If you went back to where you came from, you’d live in a cave!”
“That does it,” said Wally hotly. “The war is on.”
“Okay,” called Miss Applebaum, coming back to the front of the room for another box. “If you two have settled things, you may leave now.” She looked from Caroline to Wally. “Unless, of course, you are not agreed.”
“We agree,” said Caroline emphatically. The war is definitely on.
She could hardly wait to get home and tell her sisters.
What she discovered when she got outside was that she wasn’t the only member of her family who had been kept after school. Eddie had stumbled over Jake’s foot in the cafeteria and, sure that he’d tripped her on purpose, brought her tray down on his head. Beth, of course, had waited for Eddie, so there they were again, the three of them coming home late on the very first day.
Mother was dusting shelves in the hallway. “Whatever happened to your nose?” she asked, looking at Caroline.
“She bumped into something that needs a little fixing,” said Beth.
“Needs a lot of straightening out,” put in Eddie.
“Well, how was school?” Mother asked.
“Urk,” said Eddie.
“Ugh,” said Beth.
“It has possibilities,” said Caroline. "
― Phyllis Reynolds Naylor , The Boys Start the War (Boy/Girl Battle, #1)
9
" When they reached the house, Wally took a box of crackers up to his room and sat on the floor to eat them, his back against his bed. He still couldn’t believe that he was the one who had officially declared war on the Malloys. How had it happened? Only a week before he was lying on his back in the grass, and now here he was: Number One on their Most-Wanted list. He was on bad terms already with his teacher, had almost broken Caroline’s nose, and had made everything worse by calling her sisters stupid.
Well, they were stupid. And deep down, seven layers beneath his skin, Wally knew he was glad that he had thrust his head back and bumped Caroline. He’d just wanted her to stop bugging him, that’s all. But her nose sure looked peculiar by the end of the day—a lot redder and fatter than it had looked that morning.
Then he had another thought: What if it really was broken, she had to have an operation, and he had to pay for it? His hands began to sweat, and he swallowed the piece of cracker in his mouth without chewing. Was there such a thing as just a sprained nose? A bruised nose? A slightly but not completely fractured nose? A bent nose, maybe? "
― Phyllis Reynolds Naylor , The Boys Start the War (Boy/Girl Battle, #1)
11
" Eddie, Beth, and Caroline, this is . . .” She paused, waiting for the boys to say their own names.
“Josh,” said Jake.
“Jake,” said Josh.
“Peter,” said Wally.
“Wally,” said Peter. "
― Phyllis Reynolds Naylor , The Boys Start the War (Boy/Girl Battle, #1)
13
" She says she’ll return my briefs if you return her paper, Wally. Do you know what she’s talking about?”
Wally nodded and swallowed. “Tell her I’ll return the paper if she returns the flashlight.”
Mr. Hatford spoke into the phone again. “He says he’ll return the paper if you return the flashlight. Don’t ask me what’s going on around here. I’m only their father . . . Okay, five minutes from now on the bridge . . . He’ll be there.”
Wally’s father put down the telephone and looked at the boys. “That wouldn’t be my flashlight she’s talking about, would it?”
Wally nodded still again.
“Is this what goes on in the afternoons when I’m not here? People run off with my flashlight and shorts? I get home early for the first time in a couple of months, and what do I see? Some girl leaving our yard at sixty miles an hour waving my underwear in the wind!”
“She’s the Crazie,” Peter said soberly.
“Well, if you’ve got something of hers, Wally, you get on out to the bridge and give it back. I want my briefs and my flashlight back, and anything else that’s missing. What do they want next? Socks? Toothbrush? Keys? They holding a garage sale or something? "
― Phyllis Reynolds Naylor , The Boys Start the War (Boy/Girl Battle, #1)