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Bite Me (A Love Story, #3) QUOTES

Bite Me (A Love Story, #3) QUOTES

1 " Which isn’t, like, as bad as it sounds, because the general public kind of sucks ass. "

― Christopher Moore , Bite Me (A Love Story, #3)

2 " I tried cutting myself to express my heartbreak over Tommy (Lord Flood) rejecting me, but OMFG it hurts like flaming fuck. "

― Christopher Moore , Bite Me (A Love Story, #3)

3 " …turning your ankle hurts like hell, even if you're a superhero. "

― Christopher Moore , Bite Me (A Love Story, #3)

4 " And an inky-colored despair of rejection enveloped me like the black tortilla of depression around a pain burrito. "

― Christopher Moore , Bite Me (A Love Story, #3)

5 " Wet towel under the door,' said Barry. 'It's what you do when you're smoking weed in a hotel and you don't want everyone calling security. You're always supposed to have a towel. I read about it in a guide for hitchhiking through the galaxy. "

― Christopher Moore , Bite Me (A Love Story, #3)

6 " Kayso, it turns out that driving an actual car is way harder than it is in 'Grand Theft Auto: Zombie Hooker Smackdown. "

― Christopher Moore , Bite Me (A Love Story, #3)

7 " She's so obnoxious. Like a whole Saturday night drunk tank full of obnoxious packed into one little body." Detective Cavuto "

― Christopher Moore , Bite Me (A Love Story, #3)

8 " Yeah, that's right, Lash. Because I'm Chinese I have a deep-seated need to nosh house pets. Now why don't you let him in before my inner Chinaman forces me to kung-fu your bitch ass. "

― Christopher Moore , Bite Me (A Love Story, #3)

9 " Oh my God, you're like Obnoxious and Annoying had an ass baby! "

― Christopher Moore , Bite Me (A Love Story, #3)

10 " Foul and magical fumes bubbled out of the kettle, like the flatulence of a dragon on a demon-only diet. "

― Christopher Moore , Bite Me (A Love Story, #3)

11 " That's it, said Cavuto. You're too much of a nerd to be gay. I'm contacting the committee. They'll revoke your rainbow flag and you will not be permitted anywhere near the parade. "

― Christopher Moore , Bite Me (A Love Story, #3)

12 " Foo shuddered. It had been less than an hour since the cops led Abby away and already he missed her like a severed limb. It was embarrassing. How could hormones and hydrostatic pressure make you feel like this? Love was very unscientific. "

― Christopher Moore , Bite Me (A Love Story, #3)

13 " You motherfucking kitties need to step the fuck off! "

― Christopher Moore , Bite Me (A Love Story, #3)

14 " So I'm like getting some perspective now - like when you're a kid and you think it sucks that you have to eat hydrogenated peanut butter on your PBJ, and then you see one of those starving commercials kids with flies in their eyes, who don't even have a sandwich - and you're all, 'Well, that sucks. "

― Christopher Moore , Bite Me (A Love Story, #3)

15 " He started skipping, but then caught himself and returned to deliberately pacing out his steps with his sheathed sword. People might ignore a tiny Japanese man in an orange porkpie hat and socks, with a sword, but if you went around expressing unrestrained joy, they would have you in a straightjacket before you could belt out a verse of "Zippity Do-Dah. "

― Christopher Moore , Bite Me (A Love Story, #3)

16 " Oh, and a huge Federal Building that looked like it was being molested by a giant steel pterodactyl, but evidently that was just the government trying to get away from their standard bomb shelter architecture to something more aesthetically appealing, especially if you liked Godzilla porn. "

― Christopher Moore , Bite Me (A Love Story, #3)

17 " The City of San Francisco is being stalked by a huge, shaved vampyre cat named Chet, and only I, Abby Normal, emergency backup mistress of the Greater Bay Area night, and my manga-haired love monkey, Foo Dog, stand between the ravenous monster and a bloody massacre of the general public. Which isn’t, like, as bad as it sounds, because the general public kind of sucks ass. "

― Christopher Moore , Bite Me (A Love Story, #3)

18 " The noise was like, well, it was like a thousand vampire cats clawing on Plexiglas—it made their teeth hurt. "

― Christopher Moore , Bite Me (A Love Story, #3)

19 " I’m very insecure, actually, but I have found that if you roll up screaming like a madwoman, hair on fire, guns blazing, no one is going to mention the zit on your forehead.” Which "

― Christopher Moore , Bite Me (A Love Story, #3)

20 " His words were: hello, good-bye, yes, no, please, thank you, okay, sorry, and suck my dick. He "

― Christopher Moore , Bite Me (A Love Story, #3)