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Dave Barry Is from Mars and Venus QUOTES

Dave Barry Is from Mars and Venus QUOTES

1 " I realize that some of you may be skeptical about the idea of reincarnation, but there’s a lot of evidence that it’s real. Exhibit A is Vice President Al Gore, who obviously, at some point in his previous existence, was a slab of Formica. "

― Dave Barry , Dave Barry Is from Mars and Venus

2 " Millions of women got the Farrah Fawcett model hairstyle, thinking this made them look like Farrah Fawcett, when in fact it made them look like French poodles that had fallen into vats of hydrogen peroxide. "

― Dave Barry , Dave Barry Is from Mars and Venus

3 " Get a microscope and some spit. Put the spit on a glass slide and put it under the microscope lens. Now look through the eyepiece. You’ll notice, if you look closely, that you can’t see anything, because you have no idea how to operate a microscope. But while you’re looking, billions of germs, left on the eyepiece by the previous microscope user, will swarm into your eyeball—which to them is a regular Club Med—and start reproducing like crazy via wild bacterial sex. You’ll probably need surgery. "

― Dave Barry , Dave Barry Is from Mars and Venus

4 " I was clinging to this tree so passionately that I might very well have committed an act of photosynthesis with it. "

― Dave Barry , Dave Barry Is from Mars and Venus

5 " of research "

― Dave Barry , Dave Barry Is from Mars and Venus

6 " Early in the morning of October 8, 1991, Mrs. Florence A. Snegg of Uvula, Michigan, was having an extremely vivid dream in which her son, Russell, was involved in a terrible automobile accident. Suddenly she was awakened by the ringing of her telephone. On the line was a Missouri state trooper, calling long distance to remind Mrs. Snegg that she had never had children "

― Dave Barry , Dave Barry Is from Mars and Venus