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Sloppy Seconds: The Tucker Max Leftovers QUOTES

Sloppy Seconds: The Tucker Max Leftovers QUOTES

1 " You ever met one of those guys who, in a totally calm and composed way, can scare the shit out of you? Like an MMA fighter, or the fat Kardashian sister who married Lamar Odom? "

― Tucker Max , Sloppy Seconds: The Tucker Max Leftovers

2 " Here’s to the women we’ve met, and to the women we’ve fucked, And to those amongst us who’ve had no such luck. Here’s to beer in the glass, and vodka in the cup, Here’s to pokin’ her in the ass, so she won’t get knocked up. Here’s to all of you, and here’s to me, Together as friends we’ll always be, But if we should ever disagree, Then FUCK ALL OF YOU, HERE’S TO ME! "

― Tucker Max , Sloppy Seconds: The Tucker Max Leftovers

3 " While at the University of Chicago a couple of friends and I went to dinner at some restaurant in China Town night. Oblivious to the fact that my idiocy can be heard outside of a five-foot radius, I started in with the “You been here four hour. You go now,” routine. Ha ha, we all laugh because infantile racism is funny. A little while later I walked back to the bathroom, and as I went down the hall to the “Male Room,” I passed this rickety open door. I peered in to see two little Chinese kids looking at me, holding their eyes wide open with their fingers (to give a Caucasian look), and saying: “Hot Dogs! Baseball! Hot Dogs! Baseball!” I laughed so hard, I almost didn’t make it to the bathroom. You win this round, Chinese kids. "

― Tucker Max , Sloppy Seconds: The Tucker Max Leftovers

4 " ABSURD "

― Tucker Max , Sloppy Seconds: The Tucker Max Leftovers

5 " Tucker “I’m sorry, I can’t hear you over the sound of how awesome I am. Please speak up. "

― Tucker Max , Sloppy Seconds: The Tucker Max Leftovers