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Gags and Extracts QUOTES

Gags and Extracts QUOTES

1 " The Dalai Lama walks into a pizza store... and says, "Can you make me one with everything? "

― Santosh Kalwar , Gags and Extracts

2 " Why do ambassadors never get sick? Diplomatic immunity. "

― Santosh Kalwar , Gags and Extracts

3 " What is fastest, hot or cold?
Hot, you can catch a cold. "

― Santosh Kalwar , Gags and Extracts

4 " It'll still be stationery no matter how much you push the envelope. "

― Santosh Kalwar , Gags and Extracts

5 " Do you know what I hate about fashion designers? They are so clothes-minded. "

― Santosh Kalwar , Gags and Extracts

6 " How do you repair a broken tomato?
Tomato Paste. "

― Santosh Kalwar , Gags and Extracts

7 " Whoever invented knock-knock jokes should get a no-bell prize. "

― Santosh Kalwar , Gags and Extracts

8 " A man has been stealing wheels off of police cars. They are working tirelessly to catch him. "

― Santosh Kalwar , Gags and Extracts

9 " Two artists had an art contest...It ended in a draw. "

― Santosh Kalwar , Gags and Extracts

10 " Get involved in life, and you will find why. "

― Santosh Kalwar , Gags and Extracts

11 " I just got a job helping a one-armed typist do capital letters. It's shift work. "

― Santosh Kalwar , Gags and Extracts

12 " Did you hear the joke about the roof?
Never mind, it's over your head. "

― Santosh Kalwar , Gags and Extracts

13 " Ninety-eight per cent of cross-eyed teachers have difficulty controlling their pupils. "

― Santosh Kalwar , Gags and Extracts

14 " Cartoonist found dead in the home. Details are sketchy. "

― Santosh Kalwar , Gags and Extracts

15 " What kind of boats do smart people ride on? Scholar ships. "

― Santosh Kalwar , Gags and Extracts

16 " Our own ignorance is the curse of the world. "

― Santosh Kalwar , Gags and Extracts