102
" Remember the good
When you’ve been through hurts, disappointments, and failures, you have to guard your mind. Be careful what you allow to play in your thoughts all day. Your memory is very powerful.
You can be driving in your car and remember a tender moment with your child. It may have happened five years ago: a hug, a kiss, or something funny they did. But when you remember the moment, a smile comes to your face. You’ll feel the same emotions, the same warmth and joy, just as if it were happening again.
On the other hand you could be enjoying the day; everything is fine, but then you start remembering some sad event when you weren’t treated right or something unfair happened. Before long you’ll be sad, discouraged, and without passion.
What made you sad? Dwelling on the wrong memories. What made you happy? Dwelling on the right memories. Research has found that your mind will naturally gravitate toward the negative. One study discovered that positive and negative memories are handled by different parts of the brain. A negative memory takes up more space because there’s more to process. As a result, you remember negative events more than positive events.
The study said that a person will remember losing fifty dollars more than he’ll remember gaining fifty dollars. The negative effect has a greater impact, carrying more weight than the positive. "
― Joel Osteen , You Can You Will: 8 Undeniable Qualities of a Winner
103
" Ditch the baggage
If you stay focused on the past, then you’ll get stuck where you are. That’s the reason some people don’t have any joy. They’ve lost their enthusiasm. They’re dragging around all this baggage from the past.
Someone offended them last week, and they’ve got that stuffed in their resentment bags. They lost their tempers or said some things they shouldn’t have. Now, they’ve put those mistakes in their bags of guilt and condemnation.
Ten years ago their loved one died and they still don’t understand why; their hurt and pain is packed in their disappointment bag. Growing up they weren’t treated right--there’s another suitcase full of bitterness.
They’ve got their regret bags, containing all the things they wish they’d done differently. Maybe there is another bag with their divorce in it, and they are still mad at their former spouse, so they’ve been carrying resentment around for years. If they went to take an airline flight, they couldn’t afford it. They’ve got twenty-seven bags to drag around with them everywhere they go.
Life is too short to live that way. learn to travel light. Every morning when you get up, forgive those who hurt you. Forgive your spouse for what was said. Forgive your boss for being rude. Forgive yourself for mistakes you’ve made.
At the start of the day, let go of the setbacks and the disappointments from yesterday. Start every morning afresh and anew. God did not create you to carry around all that baggage. You may have been holding on to it for years. It’s not going to change until you do something about it. Put your foot down and say, “That’s it. I’m not living in regrets. I’m not staying focused on my disappointments. I’m not dwelling on relationships that didn’t work out, or on those who hurt me, or how unfairly I was treated. I’m letting go of the past and moving forward with my life. "
― Joel Osteen , You Can You Will: 8 Undeniable Qualities of a Winner
104
" You should focus on what you can change, not what you cannot change. What’s done is done. If somebody offended you, mistreated you, or disappointed you, the hurts can’t be undone. You can get bitter--pack it in a bag and carry it around and let it weigh you down--or you can forgive those who hurt you and go on.
If you lost your temper yesterday, you can beat yourself up--put the guilt and condemnation in a bag--or you can ask for forgiveness, receive God’s mercy, and do better today.
If you didn’t get a promotion you wanted, you can get sour and go around with a chip on your shoulder, or you can shake it off, knowing that God has something better in store.
No matter what happens, big or small, if you make the choice to let it go and move forward, you won’t let the past poison your future.
A woman I know went through a divorce years ago. We prayed several times in our services, asking God to bring a good man into her life. One day she met a fine Godly man, who was very successful. She was so happy, but she made the mistake of carrying all her negative baggage from her divorce into the new relationship. She was constantly talking about what she had been through and how she was so mistreated.
She had a victim mentality. The man told me later that she was so focused on her past and so caught up in what she had been through that he just couldn’t deal with it. He moved on. That’s what happens when we hold on to the hurts and pains of the past. It will poison you wherever you go. You can’t drag around all the personal baggage from yesterday and expect to have good relationships. You’ve got to let it go.
Quit looking at the little rearview mirror and start looking out the great big windshield in front of you. You may have had some bad breaks, but that didn’t stop God’s plan for your life. He still has amazing things in your future.
When one door closes, stay in faith and God will open another door. If a dream dies, don’t sit around in self-pity talking about what you lost, move forward and dream another dream. Your life is not over because you lost a loved one, went through a divorce, lost a job, or didn’t get the house you wanted. You would not be alive unless God had another victory in front of you. "
― Joel Osteen , You Can You Will: 8 Undeniable Qualities of a Winner
105
" Distinguish yourself
I mentioned Daniel in the previous chapter. The scripture says he had an excellent spirit. As a teenager, he was brought out of Judah into Babylon. The king had all these young men in training and the best of them--the smartest, strongest, and most talented--would be chosen as the next leaders.
They had a certain diet for them to eat and certain programs for them to follow. But Daniel had made a vow to God to always honor Him. The Babylonians worshiped idols. Daniel was respectful, but he wouldn’t eat the king’s fancy foods. He didn’t just go along with what everyone else was doing. He made the more excellent choice.
Daniel 6:3 says, “Daniel so distinguished himself by his exceptional qualities that the king planned to put him over the whole kingdom.” Notice it doesn’t say: “God distinguished him and he got promoted.” It says Daniel distinguished himself. The message translation says, “Daniel completely outclassed the others.”
That’s what happens when, number one, you honor God and, number two, you have an excellent spirit. You don’t compromise. You don’t just go with the flow and do what everyone else is doing.
Even if everyone else is late, everyone else cuts corners, and everyone else is undisciplined, you should do as Daniel did and go the extra mile. Make the choice to be excellent.
The scripture goes on to say Daniel was ten times smarter than the other young men. He had incredible wisdom and understanding. He could interpret dreams and visions. When you have an excellent spirit, God will give you unprecedented favor, creativity, and ideas so that, like Daniel, you will stand out in the crowd. In humility, you will outclass those who don’t honor God.
My question is: Are you distinguishing yourself and not waiting for God to do it? Are you going the extra mile? Are you doing more than you have to? Are you improving your skills?
Examine your life. We all have areas in which we can strive for excellence, whether it’s how we treat people, how we present ourselves, or how we develop our skills. Don’t let something small keep you from the big things God wants to do. You are called to be a cut above. You have excellence on the inside. It’s who you are. Now do your part and be disciplined to bring out your excellence.
If you’ll have this spirit of excellence, God will breathe in your direction and cause you to stand out. You’ll look up and be more creative, more skilled, more talented, and wiser with more ideas. I believe and declare that like Daniel, you will outperform, you will outclass, and you will outshine, and God will promote you and set you in a place of honor. You can, you will. "
― Joel Osteen , You Can You Will: 8 Undeniable Qualities of a Winner
106
" Tune into good memories
Knowing this, you have to be proactive. When negative memories come back to the movie screen of the mind, many people pull up a chair, get some popcorn, and watch it all again. They’ll say: “I can’t believe they hurt me, that was so wrong.”
Instead, remember this: That’s not the only movie playing. There’s another channel that is not playing back your defeats, your failures, or your disappointments. This channel features your victories, your accomplishments, and the things you did right.
The good-memory channel plays back the times you were promoted, you met the right person, you bought a great house, and your children were healthy and happy.
Instead of staying on that negative channel, switch over to your victory channel. You will not move forward into better days if you’re always replaying the negative things that have happened.
We’ve all been through loss, disappointments, and bad breaks. So those memories will come to mind most often. The good news is you have the remote control. Just because the memory comes up doesn’t mean you have to dwell on it. Learn to change the channel. "
― Joel Osteen , You Can You Will: 8 Undeniable Qualities of a Winner
107
" Get ready for the new things God has in store
Pastor Dutch Sheets told a story about a forty-year-old lady having open-heart surgery. She had blockage in one of her arteries and had to have bypass surgery. Although this is a delicate procedure, it’s considered a routine surgery and performed successfully more than 230,000 times every year.
During the operation, the surgeon clamps off the main vein flowing to the heart and hooks it to machine that pumps the blood and keeps the lungs working. The heart actually stops beating while the vein is being bypassed.
When the procedure is over and the machine is removed, the warmth from the body’s blood normally causes the heart to wake back up and start beating again. If that doesn’t work, they have drugs that will wake up the heart.
This lady was on the operating table and the bypass was finished, so they let her blood start flowing, but for some reason her heart did not start beating. They gave her the usual drugs with no success.
She had no heartbeat. The surgeon massaged her heart with his hand to stimulate that muscle and get it beating again, but even that did not work.
The surgeon was so frustrated, so troubled. It looked as if his patient was finished. After doing everything he could medically, he leaned over and whispered in her ear, “Mary, I’ve done everything I can do. Now I need you to tell your heart to beat again.”
He stepped back and heard bump, bump, bump, bump. Her heart kicked in and started beating.
Do you need to tell your heart to beat again? Maybe you’ve been through disappointments and life didn’t turn out like you had hoped. Now you’re just sitting on the sideline. You’ve got to get your passion back. Get your fire back. Tell your heart to dream again. Tell your heart to love again. Tell your heart to laugh again. Tell your heart to believe again. "
― Joel Osteen , You Can You Will: 8 Undeniable Qualities of a Winner
109
" Do you need to start changing the channel? Are you reliving every hurt, disappointment, and bad break? As long as you’re replaying the negative, you will never fully heal. It’s like a scab that’s starting to get better, but it will only get worse if you pick at it.
Emotional wounds are the same way. If you’re always reliving your hurts and watching them on the movie screen of your mind--talking about them, and telling your friends--that’s just reopening the wound.
You have to change the channel. When you look back over your life, can you find one good thing that has happened? Can you remember one time where you know it was the hand of God, promoting you, protecting you, and healing you? Switch over to that channel. Get your mind going in a new direction.
A reporter asked me not long ago what my biggest failure has been, my biggest regret. I don’t mean to sound arrogant, but I don’t remember what my biggest failure was. I don’t dwell on that. I’m not watching that channel.
We all make mistakes. We all do things we wish we had done differently. You can lean from your mistakes, but you’re not supposed to keep them in the forefront of your mind. You’re supposed to remember the things you did right: The times you succeeded. The times you overcame the temptation. The times you were kind to strangers.
Some people are not happy because they remember every mistake they’ve made since 1927. They’ve got a running list. Do yourself a big favor and change the channel. Quit dwelling on how you don’t measure up and how you just should have been more disciplined, should have stayed in school, or should have spent more time with your children.
You may have fallen down, but focus on the fact that you got back up. You’re here today. You may have made a poor choice, but dwell on your good choices. You may have some weaknesses, but remember your strengths. Quit focusing on what’s wrong with you and start focusing on what’s right with you. You won’t ever become all you were created to be if you’re against yourself. You have to retrain your mind. Be disciplined about what you dwell on. "
― Joel Osteen , You Can You Will: 8 Undeniable Qualities of a Winner
112
" Too many people suffer from destination disease. They reach a certain level, earn their degrees, buy their dream homes, and then just coast.
Studies show 50 percent of high school graduates never read another entire book. One reason may be that they see learning as something you do in school, just something you do for a period of life instead of as a way of life.
We all learned when we were in school. Our teachers, coaches, and parents taught us. We were expected to learn when we were school age. But some tend to think that once they finish a certain level of education: “I’m done with school. I’ve finished my training. I’ve got a good job.”
Winners never stop learning, and this is the sixth undeniable quality I have observed. God did not create us to reach one level and then stop. Whether you’re nine or ninety years old, you should constantly be learning, improving your skills, and getting better at what you do.
You have to take responsibility for your own growth. Growth is not automatic. What steps are you taking to improve? Are you reading books or listening to educational videos or audios? Are you taking any courses on the Internet or going to seminars? Do you have mentors? Are you gleaning information from people who know more than you?
Winners don’t coast through life relying on what they have already learned. You have treasure on the inside--gifts, talents, and potential--put in you by the Creator of the universe. But those gifts will not automatically come out. They must be developed.
I read that the wealthiest places on earth are not the oil fields of the Middle East or the diamond mines of South Africa. The wealthiest places are the cemeteries. Buried in the ground are businesses that were never formed, books that were never written, songs that were never sung, dreams that never came to life, potential that was never released. "
― Joel Osteen , You Can You Will: 8 Undeniable Qualities of a Winner
113
" God performed miracle after miracle for the Israelites. He supernaturally brought them out of slavery. He sent all these plagues on their enemies. Even though the Israelites were living next door, the plagues did not affect them. When they came to a dead end at the Red Sea, with Pharaoh and his army chasing them, it might have looked like their lives were all over, but the water parted.
They went through the sea on dry ground. God gave them water out of a rock, and He led them by the cloud by day and the pillar of fire by night. But in spite of all of this they never made it into the Promised Land. Psalm 78 tells why. It says, “They forgot what God had done, they didn’t remember the amazing miracles He had shown them and their ancestors.”
When you forget what you should be remembering, it can keep you out of your Promised Land. The Israelites became discouraged, started complaining, and asked Moses, “Why did you bring us out here to die in the desert?”
When they faced an enemy, they thought, “We don’t have a chance.” They already had seen God’s goodness in amazing ways. They had seen God do the impossible, but because they forgot about it, they were afraid, worried, and negative. It kept them from their destiny. "
― Joel Osteen , You Can You Will: 8 Undeniable Qualities of a Winner
114
" In the Old Testament, we read a lot about the staffs people carried around with them. They weren’t just walking sticks, or something to keep wild animals away. They were more significant than that.
Back in those days, people were nomadic. They were always on the move. They didn’t keep records with papers and computer files like we have today. Instead, they etched records of important events and dates on their walking staffs.
That was their way of keeping personal records. They’d etch notations such as, “On this date we defeated the Amalekites. On this date my son was born. On this date God brought us out of slavery. On this date God gave us water out of the rock.”
Their walking staffs provided a record of their history with God. When Moses parted the Red Sea, what did he do? He held up his staff. He was saying, “God, we thank You for all You’ve done in the past. We remember that You’ve delivered us time and time again.”
Moses was remembering the great things God had done. When David went out to face Goliath, he didn’t just take his slingshot. The scripture says he took his staff. On that staff, no doubt, he had etched, “On this date I killed a lion with my bare hands. On this date I killed a bear. On this date Samuel anointed me as king.”
David took his staff to remind him that God had helped him in the past. I can imagine just before he went out to fight, he ran over and read it one more time. That gave him the final boost. His attitude was, “God, You did it for me back then, so I know You can do it for me now. "
― Joel Osteen , You Can You Will: 8 Undeniable Qualities of a Winner
115
" Are you facing giants today? Does your problem look too big? Do your dreams seem impossible? You need to get your staff out. Instead of going around discouraged, and thinking it’s never going to work out, start dwelling on your victories. Start thinking about how you killed the lion and bear in your own life. Start remembering how far God has brought you.
Rehearse all the times He opened doors, gave you promotions, healed your family members, and put you in the right places with the right people. Don’t forget your victories. On a regular basis go back over your memorial stones, and read the victories etched on your staff.
When those negative memories come up, they come to all of us--the things that didn’t work out, your hurts, your failures, and your disappointments. Many people mistakenly stay on that channel and they end up stuck in a negative rut and do not expect anything good. Remember, that’s not the only channel--get your remote control and switch over to the victory channel.
Expect breakthroughs. Expect problems to turn around. Expect to rise to new levels. You haven’t seen your greatest victories. You haven’t accomplished your greatest dreams. There are new mountains to climb, new horizons to explore.
Don’t let past disappointments steal your passion. Don’t let the way somebody treated you sour you on life. God is still in control. It may not have happened in the past, but it can happen in the future.
Draw a line in the sand and say, “That’s it. I’m done with low expectations. I’m not settling for mediocrity. I expect favor, increase, and promotion. I expect blessings to chase me down. I expect this year to be my best so far.”
If you raise your level of expectancy, God will take you places you’ve never dreamed. He’ll open doors no man can shut. He will help you overcome obstacles that looked insurmountable, and you will see His goodness in amazing ways. "
― Joel Osteen , You Can You Will: 8 Undeniable Qualities of a Winner
116
" Build a foundation for continuous growth
What matters, then, is having a good education, good work habits, and a good attitude that gives you a foundation to build on. Popularity is about wanting people to like you, but happiness is about liking yourself.
In most schools, the science fair is not the most popular event. Being in the math club isn’t nearly as cool as being on the football team. Some of my friends made fun of people on the debate team. But now they work for people who were on the debate team.
Junior high and high school are critical times in our lives and our formative years. There’s so much emphasis on sports and not enough on studies. I love sports. I played sports growing up, still do. They teach discipline and teamwork and perseverance, and that’s all great. But we need to keep sports in perspective.
Most of us are not going to play sports for a living. One in one million kids will play professional basketball. I don’t mean to depress you, but if you’re white it’s one in five million! The average professional football career is three and a half years. Even if you do make it, you still need a good foundation for life after football.
When you study and learn, and take school seriously you may be called a bookworm, a geek, or a nerd, but don’t worry about those names. In a few years you’ll be called the boss. You’ll be called CEO, president, senator, pastor, or doctor.
Thomas Edison, Henry Ford, and Harvey Firestone had summer homes next to each other in Florida. They were close friends and spent much of their summers together.
Who you associate with makes a difference in how far you go in life. If your friends are Larry, Curly, and Moe, you may have fun, but you may not be going anywhere. The scripture says, “We should redeem the time.” You need to see time as a gift. God has given us 86,400 seconds each today. "
― Joel Osteen , You Can You Will: 8 Undeniable Qualities of a Winner
117
" You’re not responsible with what God gave you if you’re hanging out with time wasters who have no goals and no dreams.
You have a destiny to fulfill. God has amazing things in your future. It’s critical that you surround yourself with the right people. If you’re the smartest one in your group, then your group is too small. You need to be around people who know more than you and have more talent than you. Don’t be intimidated by them; be inspired.
If you take an oak tree seed and plant it in a five-gallon pot, that tree will never grow to the size it was created to be. Why? It’s restricted by the size of the pot. In the same way, God has created you to do great things. He’s put talent, ability, and skills on the inside. You don’t want to be restricted by your environment. It may be too small.
Some of you are being restricted by your environment. It’s too small. The people you hang around are negative and drag you down. You need to get out of that little pot. God created you to soar. It’s fine to help people in need, but don’t spend all your time with them.
You need talented and smart people in your life; winners who are farther along than you and can inspire you and challenge you to rise higher.
My question for you is this: Are you doing anything strategic and intentional to keep growing? If not, you can start right now. Come up with a personal growth plan. It can be something like, “I will get up every morning and spend the first twenty minutes meditating on the scripture. I will listen to a teaching CD driving to work. I will read a book fifteen minutes every night before I go to bed. I will meet with my mentor twice a month. I will be in church every weekend.”
That’s a definite plan. When you take responsibility for your growth, God will honor your efforts.
Promotion, good breaks, businesses, books, and divine connections are in your future. But now is the time to prepare. Don’t get caught with destination disease.
There is treasure in you, waiting to be developed. Redeem the time. Make a decision to grow in some way every day. If you keep sharpening your skills, and getting better, God promises your gifts will make room for you.
Like David, because you are prepared, I believe and declare God is about to thrust you into the fullness of your destiny. He will open doors that no man can shut. You will go further than you could imagine and become the winner He’s created you to be. "
― Joel Osteen , You Can You Will: 8 Undeniable Qualities of a Winner
119
" Give life all you’ve got
I have a friend who went through a divorce after twenty-six years of marriage. His wife left him a note saying she had found someone else. He was once an outgoing, fun, and energetic person. But after his wife left him, he was solemn, discouraged, and he had no joy, no life.
I told him what I’m telling you: “This is not the end. God has a new beginning. But you’ve got to do your part and tell your heart to beat again.” Little by little, he recovered his joy, his vision, and his passion.
Then God brought a beautiful lady into his life and they married. He told me a while back that he’s happier than he’s ever been.
You may have suffered a setback, too, but don’t sit around in self-pity. Tell your heart to beat again. Tell your heart to love again. Someone may have done you wrong, but don’t let it poison you. Tell your heart to forgive again. Maybe a dream didn’t work out, but nothing will change if you just expect more of the same. Tell your heart to dream again.
You may have let the pressures of life weigh you down, and you’re all solemn and serious. You need to tell your heart to laugh again. Tell your heart to smile again. Get back your joy. Get back your enthusiasm. "
― Joel Osteen , You Can You Will: 8 Undeniable Qualities of a Winner
120
" Every day we get to choose our attitudes. We can determine to be happy and look on the bright side--expecting good things, and believing we will accomplish our dreams--or we can elect to be negative by focusing on our problems, dwelling on what didn’t work out, and living worried and discouraged.
These are the choices we all can make. Nobody can force you to have a certain attitude. Life will go so much better if you simply decide to be positive. When you wake up, choose to be happy. That is the fourth undeniable quality of a winner.
Choose to be grateful for the day. Choose to look on the bright side. Choose to focus on the possibilities.
A good attitude does not automatically come. If you don’t choose it, then more than likely you’ll default to a negative mind-set, thinking: “I don’t feel like going to work. I’ve got so many obstacles. Nothing good is in my future.”
A negative attitude will limit your life.
We all face difficulties. We all have tough times, but the right attitude is, “This is not permanent, it’s only temporary. In the meantime I’m going to enjoy my life.”
Maybe you didn’t get the promotion you worked hard for, or you didn’t qualify for that house you wanted. You could easily live with a sour attitude. Instead, you should think: “That’s all right. I know something better is coming.”
If you become caught in traffic, think positively: “I’m not going to be stressed. I know I’m at the right place at the right time.”
If your medical report wasn’t good, you can choose to think: “I’m not worried. This too shall pass.”
If your dream is taking longer than you thought, you can choose to think: “I’m not discouraged. I know the right people, and the right opportunities are already in my future, and at the right time it will come to pass. "
― Joel Osteen , You Can You Will: 8 Undeniable Qualities of a Winner
