Zoey Punches the Future in the Dick (Zoey Ashe, #2) QUOTES

2 " The man who greeted her on the sidewalk was named Hank Kowalski. He was bald and had the eyes of a man whose favorite joke is just a shrieking child falling down a flight of stairs. "

― David Wong , Zoey Punches the Future in the Dick (Zoey Ashe, #2)

4 " They arrived to find the park was a train wreck. Literally; that was the theme of this year’s decorations, a locomotive accident with hundreds of gruesome fatalities. A line of smashed, overturned, and burning train cars—real ones, brought over from an abandoned rail yard—snaked through the park, partygoers shuffling around and climbing over them. Unsettlingly realistic corpses and severed limbs littered the ground. Massive zombie buzzards the size of pterodactyls swarmed overhead and occasionally swooped down on tattered leathery wings, snatching up some body part in a jagged beak and hauling it back into the sky. Again: Devil’s Night was not for kids. "

― David Wong , Zoey Punches the Future in the Dick (Zoey Ashe, #2)

6 " The next morning, October 31, marked the beginning of the family-friendly part of the holiday. That’s when the mischievous gifts from under the Halloween Tree were handed out by hungover adults. The rule was that if your gift was actually thoughtful or useful to the recipient, you had failed—these gifts were to be tasteless and worse than useless. They were also extremely difficult to shop for, you had to know a person pretty well to know exactly what they hated. For the kids, there were baskets of booby-trapped treats (say, a batch of six caramel apples, only one was secretly an onion). Everyone either had a separate costume for that day, or a tasteful modification to their Devil’s Night outfit for the traditional haunted houses and trick-or-treating. "

― David Wong , Zoey Punches the Future in the Dick (Zoey Ashe, #2)

8 " [A] flaw in the human character is that everybody wants to build and nobody wants to do maintenance. "

― David Wong , Zoey Punches the Future in the Dick (Zoey Ashe, #2)

10 " You hire the right people and trust them to get it done. "

― David Wong , Zoey Punches the Future in the Dick (Zoey Ashe, #2)

12 " behind every monster there’s just another monster, forever. "

― David Wong , Zoey Punches the Future in the Dick (Zoey Ashe, #2)

14 " She needed to remind herself not to accidentally press the spot on the seam of her T-shirt that would make the cat start singing a sea shanty consisting entirely of meows. "

― David Wong , Zoey Punches the Future in the Dick (Zoey Ashe, #2)

16 " The more they hate you, the more they love each other. "

― David Wong , Zoey Punches the Future in the Dick (Zoey Ashe, #2)