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1 " My heart is burning a hole in my chest and every time you speak to me, it keeps sinking, and I'm left with nothing but ashes. I wish she were talking to me, because the more she speaks to me, the more my heart flutters like a rising phoenix.-Karen Quan and Jarod Kintz "
― Jarod Kintz , liQUID PROse QUOtes
2 " The aching in my chest isn't because I miss you,it's realizing that you have become someone I no longer know,your fears, your 4 am thoughts, your achievements,are things I no longer have an equivalent to.Who we were and who we are are four different people, and the me from now doesn't relate to the me from then, let alone to the you from now.-Tanzy Sayadi and Jarod Kintz "
3 " When your heart starts to feel full again. I love FREE refills, and if a restaurant tries to double charge me, I refuse to write a love poem on their Yelp page.-Karen Quan and Jarod Kintz "
4 " If opportunity knocks, let it in. But with the way things are nowadays-I'd rather meet opportunity somewhere that's more public. I could meet opportunity in a coffee shop, but what if it works there? Well, I could suggest my grandma's basement.-James Lee Schmidt and Jarod Kintz "
― James Lee Schmidt , liQUID PROse QUOtes
5 " This girl who's slept a hundred years has something after all. It's called Centuryitis, and it has turned me into a man. Oh, what will mamma think when she sees me?!-Karen Quan and Jarod Kintz "
6 " I hate when I'm not done with my cup but my mom decides to put it in the dishwasher anyway and the cup isn't dishwasher safe. I keep telling my mom that my origami coffee mugs are hand wash ONLY. Handshakes are also hand wash only.-Karen Quan and Jarod Kintz "
7 " I've often wondered - where do the people who WORK at coffee shops go to meet their friends - Do they go to Conference Rooms? And if they don't meet in conference rooms, I'd like them to know I'd be willing to rent out my grandma's basement.-James Lee Schmidt and Jarod Kintz "
8 " It's super cloudy right now but I think I can see the northern lights from my room. Another observation: Every light is a strobe light, if you just blink fast enough, and drink enough vodka.-Karen Quan and Jarod Kintz "
9 " I dreamt that @mark_wahlberg and his wife were our neighbors and we had dance parties in our living room and drank wine from solo cups. Everyone said I danced like I was doing parkour, and everyone laughed, until I fell off the roof and broke my neck.-Crystal Woods and Jarod Kintz "
10 " I really hate that I need my glasses while using my laptop. What I hate even more is that I need those glasses to be full of vodka at all times.-Karen Quan and Jarod Kintz "
11 " My last girlfriend was a Showgirl - But we eventually broke up because she wouldn't Tell me anything. Now I'm dating a girl who looks exactly like my grandma, only my girl older.-James Lee Schmidt and Jarod Kintz "
12 " When you're reaching the end of the semester and you just wanna die. Coffin Making 101 is literally killing me.-Karen Quan and Jarod Kintz "
13 " A picture is worth a thousand words, but the way I paint I'm going to need to contact an editor. Even if I were to abstractly paint the phrase "I love you," it would be the visual equivalent of Joyce's Ulysses.-James Lee Schmidt and Jarod Kintz "
14 " Water can be as hard as ice and as soft as fog, which is why my love is so drinkable, because it is fluid and forgiving. It's easy to love until there's nothing left. Eventually, the water runs out, the ice melts, and the fog fades into an abyss.-Jarod Kintz and Karen Quan "
15 " My sympathies lie with those who don’t lie. I will lie down in a field of dandelions and wish away any sympathies.-Jarod Kintz and Amanda Mosher "
16 " 1-12, twice a day, this is how we measure our lives, and yet nobody notices the redundancy, and yet nobody notices the redundancy. Time flies while you're having fun - But what happens if you're not having fun, does time have to call Uber?-Jarod Kintz and James Lee Schmidt "
17 " I abandoned my banned band, and as the lead singer, I felt like my throat was full of desert sand. That's to be expected after doing coke in the desert with BBMak.-Jarod Kintz and Crystal Woods "
18 " Rows of roses rose up to smell my nose, and what could I do but sit back and appreciate my flower-nature. A Rose By Any Other Name Would Smell As Sweet- But if it changed its name to SKUNK, I'd Sincerely Doubt That Belief.-Jarod Kintz and James Lee Schmidt "
19 " I just put four shoes under the legs of a chair, and I wonder, if I asked you to dance, would you say yes, or would you have a seat? I would have a seat and hope that those legs would move and carry me because mine are broken, along with my dreams.-Jarod Kintz and Karen Quan "
20 " When it rains, my windshield wiper fades into the trunks of twisted oaks, but I drive straight, because the trees are drunk. When the trees drink, it's because they've been watered with alcohol, and who feeds trees alcohol, except drunks?-Jarod Kintz and Stefan Dimov "
