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21 " I cry, but not for myself. There’s too much sadness in this world to waste a moment with self-pity, when making others smile will also make me smile. "
― Crystal Woods , Write like no one is reading 3
22 " Though it comes from her throat, I drink the sound of her voice. Her I love yous dehydrate me, because they leave me thirsting for more. "
23 " Don’t sleep with a blindfold on. Sleep with your eyes open and alert, because love may come in your darkest moments. "
24 " Too little light and man can’t see, just as too much light and man is blinded. Love is a light, and should be used to illuminate, not blitz one’s vision. "
25 " Everyone is different from each other, but that doesn’t mean everyone should be indifferent to each other. "
26 " This year I vow to learn how to garden. I will be the Farmer of Love and grow in understanding and forgiveness. "
27 " I will paint a classic car yellow and convert it into a bulldozer. If you need me, I’ll be in the cemetery digging to try to find myself as a person. "
28 " I predict that love will burst forth on the Fourth of July. That’s tomorrow, so I’d better prepare tonight for massive fireworks of the heart. "
29 " I work in a secret whisper factory. It’s all very hush-hush. Her love for me could be found there, if it could be found at all, but it can’t, because it’s invisible. "
30 " When traveling on foot through the Sahara Desert, be sure to pack several gallons of ice cream, and keep them close to your heart, because nothing, not even my love, can make that thing melt. "
31 " A fly can fly, so man should be called walk. If you want to make love, I’ll bring the wheelchair, if you bring the flyswatter. "
32 " What do you mean love is not for sale? Then what the hell did I just buy? And why is it grandma-shaped and moaning? "
33 " I'm going to sell Flash Bang Wow Fuzz (not a drill) in a bottle, but I’m not sure how to market it. Maybe as a drinkable alternative to love. "
34 " I’ll give you 50% off for half a year, or 100% off for a whole year. At these bargain discount prices, my love won’t last forever. "
35 " She said she was a nurse. I replied that she must have a lot of patience—and patients. I would have said more, but I ran out of homophones. "
36 " If there are two men, Rod and Rob, and you can only steal from one, which one would you choose? The answer is: Whichever one is a banker. "
― Jarod Kintz , Write like no one is reading 3
37 " When stuck in outer space, moonwalk home. I can dance as well as any hitchhiker in the galaxy, and you can 42 off if you don’t believe me. "
38 " Tonight’s erection is brought to you by the music of Phil Collins. If you’ll put on your gloves, I’ll go fetch it from the freezer. "
39 " Despite his last name, I’ll bet Johnny Cash never had an inflated ego, or needed a wheelbarrow full of last name to go shopping. "
40 " Using my thumb and middle finger, I tend to make snap decisions. Right away I know whether I like a song or not. "