Home > Work > Okay, So Maybe I Do Have Superpowers (Dear Dumb Diary #11)

Okay, So Maybe I Do Have Superpowers (Dear Dumb Diary #11) QUOTES

Okay, So Maybe I Do Have Superpowers (Dear Dumb Diary #11) QUOTES

1 " This means that I don't have to run faster than the psychotic-maniac-vampire-cannibal, I just have to run faster than whoever is with me when the psychotic-maniac-vampire-cannibal starts chasing us. "

― , Okay, So Maybe I Do Have Superpowers (Dear Dumb Diary #11)

2 " I had the great idea of using markers to gently color the ants so I could tell them apart, but I learned that this is exactly like somebody trying to gently color on you with a thirty-story building.
Without dwelling on the tragedy, I'd just like to say that I'm deeply sorry to Mr. Purple and the surviving Purple family. "

― , Okay, So Maybe I Do Have Superpowers (Dear Dumb Diary #11)

3 " Things Isabella Wouldn't Care About:
- Titanic sinking again.
- Metror striking Earth and landing directly on top of world's most innocent panda.
- Titanic sinking again and this time the entire crew is puppies. "

― , Okay, So Maybe I Do Have Superpowers (Dear Dumb Diary #11)

4 " How Superheroes Make Money:
- Spider-Man knits sweaters.
- Superman screw the lids on pickle jars.
- Iron Man, as you would suspect, just irons. "

― , Okay, So Maybe I Do Have Superpowers (Dear Dumb Diary #11)

5 " I'm telling you, the gorgeous of the world can actually look pretty intimidating when they scowl. Imagine a snow-white swan with a scary tattoo holding a chain saw. There's just no way to really prepare for that. "

― , Okay, So Maybe I Do Have Superpowers (Dear Dumb Diary #11)

6 " He giggled like a puppy being tickled by a kitten wearing a duckling costume. "

― , Okay, So Maybe I Do Have Superpowers (Dear Dumb Diary #11)

7 " The Destructive Arts are exactly like Martial Arts, except they don't have uniforms or usefulness and the end result doesn't resemble art in any way. "

― , Okay, So Maybe I Do Have Superpowers (Dear Dumb Diary #11)

8 " Ant 1: So, uh, do you ever worry that your itsy little neck is just going to snap under the weight of your head?
Ant 2: Stop asking me that. You ask me that, like, every five minutes.
Ant 1: Sometimes I notice my antennae out of the corner of my eye and I'm all, like: AHH! Something is on me! Get it off! Get it off!
Ant 2: Yeah, the antennae again. Listen, I just remembered, I have to go walk around aimlessly now. "

― , Okay, So Maybe I Do Have Superpowers (Dear Dumb Diary #11)

9 " I can't imagine the scientists wanting me to walk into the lab and start fiddling around with some big bowl of electrons they had out. "

― , Okay, So Maybe I Do Have Superpowers (Dear Dumb Diary #11)

10 " There are four categories of questions Emmily asks:
1. Can I please go to the bathroom?
2. Where is the bathroom?
3. Is it okay if I raise my hand and ask a question?
4. I don't understand anything you've said in the last thirty minutes. Could you explain it again? Also the last six weeks. "

― , Okay, So Maybe I Do Have Superpowers (Dear Dumb Diary #11)

11 " The following ten throws went a variety of places. I never hit the target, but I was getting closer. Isabella was laughing so hard she wrote "Please stop can't breathe" in the dirt with her finger. "

― , Okay, So Maybe I Do Have Superpowers (Dear Dumb Diary #11)