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61 " unrequited love is like a dead, useless organ. It’s functionless. It’s sicker than a disease. You can cure a disease, but you can’t fix a defective soul. That’s the most frustrating thing in the world, to be that powerless.” I’m "
― Saffron A. Kent , The Unrequited
62 " Who would’ve "
63 " I’m going to suck on your pussy, Layla.” They’re the very first words he’s spoken since I came to him. They sound raspy and guttural, ripped from the depths of his soul. They are enough to make me come and my eyes strain to flutter closed, but I keep them open. I want to see him. I want to see the beginnings of my ruination. "
64 " falling in love isn’t bad or wrong or even hard. It’s actually really simple, even if there’s no reciprocation. It’s the falling out that’s hard, but no matter how much you convince yourself otherwise, reciprocation is important. It’s what keeps the love going. Without it, love just dies out, and then it’s up to you. Do you bury it, or do you carry the dead body around? It’s a hard decision to make, but you have to do it. "
65 " But depth is misleading from the surface. Sometimes taking a plunge is the only way to find out if the water is too deep or just deep enough. "
66 " And I keep coming to the same conclusion: that bravery is not the absence of fear, but the courage to do something despite it - taking that first step despite the danger of falling, creating a piece of art knowing that people might not appreciate it. "
67 " falling in love isn’t bad or wrong or even hard. It’s actually really simple, even if there’s no reciprocation. It’s the falling out that’s hard, but no matter how much you convince yourself otherwise, reciprocation is important. It’s what keeps the love going. Without it, love just dies out, and then it’s up to you. Do you bury it, or do you carry the dead body around? "
68 " bravery is not the absence of fear, but the courage to do something despite it—taking that first step despite the danger of falling, creating a piece of art knowing that people might not appreciate it. Bravery "
69 " Bravery is like falling in love. You don’t know if the person will reciprocate, but still you "
70 " Bravery is like falling in love. You don’t know if the person will reciprocate, but still you fall. Bravery "
71 " His calluses drag across my trembling chin, stabilizing it, keeping it calm. Keeping me calm, like some sort of anti-anxiety drug. "
72 " falling in love isn’t bad or wrong or even hard. It’s actually really simple, even if there’s no reciprocation. It’s the falling out that’s hard, but no matter how much you convince yourself otherwise, reciprocation is important. It’s what keeps the love going. Without it, love just dies out, and then it’s up to you. Do you bury it, or do you carry the dead body around? It’s a hard decision to make, but you have to do it.” I "
73 " Terrified,” he murmurs, answering my question. “Art is painful, Layla. It’s potentially dangerous. Explosive. It takes everything from you, sometimes more than you can afford. It’s a beast, and it’s always starving. You feed it and feed it…until you have nothing left.” He sucks in a breath. “But you don’t mind because you’d rather chase the high of creating something than live in darkness. It’s insanity. "
74 " He needs me. He needs to exert his power over me because his love has made him powerless. He needs me begging because his love has made him a beggar himself. The lust he feels for me comes from the love he feels for her. "
75 " Art is painful, Layla. It’s potentially dangerous. Explosive. It takes everything from you, sometimes more than you can afford. It’s a beast, and it’s always starving. You feed it and feed it…until you have nothing left.” He sucks in a breath. “But you don’t mind because you’d rather chase the high of creating something than live in darkness. It’s insanity.” It’s "
76 " I think of her smile, her raven hair, her violet eyes. Her smooth, creamy skin. Her slender limbs wrapped around my body. Her tattoo. Her laughter. Her courage. Her words. We’re soul mates, Thomas. You’re like my favorite song. You have to talk. You can’t live like this. You’re holding on too tight. You remind me of some kind of fire-breather. Layla Robinson, the fire-breather. My fire-breather. "
77 " I should let him off the hook, but I don’t want to. I don’t. I can’t. Loving myself means fighting for myself, fighting for my sanity, and I will fucking fight. I won’t be a martyr even though guilt keeps pouring out of me like tears and sweat. “You "