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1 " The pork is in the oven with the foil off now, and a quick satisfying peek confirms that the crackling will be done to perfection. Just how Ben likes it. The apple crumble, with my own special oaty topping, sits on the side, and I have a big carton of Marks and Spencer’s vanilla custard stowed away in the fridge. I find nobody notices a little cheat, so long as it’s just here and there. The trick is not to overdo it. "
― K.L. Slater , Liar
2 " Sit down, Mum,’ Ben says kindly when he’s finished mopping up the cream. I look down and see that the large area of polished wood is now dull and smeared, and although he’s done his best, the cream has surreptitiously seeped in between the boards where it might never be reached. ‘Mum? "
3 " There’s a point at which you may might realise the journey isn’t really for you any more. But every time you get a chance to change paths, you just stay put because it’s easier. You end up trudging along the same old way and watching as life happens to other people as you pass by. Then one day you just stop looking around you "
4 " The job and the flat had been sorted for a while, and finally the story of her past was in place. She had rehearsed it all in her head until it had felt real. The waiting had been hellish but she knew it was essential that any loose ends were eradicated. "
5 " Don’t you dare use your nasty little misogynistic terms with me,’ I snap at him. ‘Voicing my opinion is not being hysterical; it’s doing what you do every single day of your life – without being challenged by anyone. "
6 " titivating herself before work had made a change from her usual rushing out "
7 " Soon the boys will be here and the house will be transformed into a home once more. Noisy, glorious chaos again, just like when Ben and David were young. Long before the bad decisions and the terrible consequences. "
8 " works. "
9 " Imagine if someone took away all the chores and pressure and worries and replaced them with the sweetest joy that filled your heart and left you wanting nothing. If you can imagine that, then you start to come close to feeling what a grandparent feels. "
10 " As our kids get older and become adults themselves, there’s a stage we unknowingly pass, from which point forward our role as parents diminishes in "
11 " In some ways, a long marriage is a bit like embarking on a journey. There’s a point at which you may might realise the journey isn’t really for you any more. But every time you get a chance to change paths, you just stay put because it’s easier. You end up trudging along the same old way and watching as life happens to other people as you pass by. Then one day you just stop looking around you … and well, here we are. "
12 " Over time, our marriage has faded, like a vibrant painting left in strong sunlight for too many years. Time has slipped through our fingers like melting snow. We thought we had so much of it, but suddenly it’s just cold water, trickling away fast. We’re "
13 " his brother, "
14 " My sadness is like a living thing that helps fill the gaping space David left inside me when he died. Sadness brings its own sort of comfort. A reassurance that it will never leave, it belongs to me alone. "
15 " It often feels as if everything and everybody has moved on completely. That nobody misses David James Jukes … that mostly nobody even remembers him. Perhaps it’s unfair of me to think that. Perhaps people do think about him and just don’t show it. We’re not a very showing sort of family. "