The Perils of Praline: Or, the Amorous Adventures of a Southern Gentleman in Hollywood QUOTES

1 " Um…you’re four blocks away. Why can’t you walk?”
“I’m naked.” Sometimes the truth was like a band-aid in need
of removal; one had to get it over with as quickly as possible.
“And I’m sitting in a bougainvillea bush.”
Jason was silent. Even his silence sounded angry. Praline knew
he should have sent a text. "

― Marshall Thornton , The Perils of Praline: Or, the Amorous Adventures of a Southern Gentleman in Hollywood

2 " You're an opportunistic little slut, that's what you are."
"That's not fair. I had no idea she'd give me your job."
"Oh, you just fucked her husband for the fun of it?"
"Have you seen his ass? "

― Marshall Thornton , The Perils of Praline: Or, the Amorous Adventures of a Southern Gentleman in Hollywood

3 " If you look out for the sunny side of the street, the sunny side of the street will look out for you. "

― Marshall Thornton , The Perils of Praline: Or, the Amorous Adventures of a Southern Gentleman in Hollywood

4 " Look," Jason said, "you really need to learn the difference between sex and a thank-you card. "

― Marshall Thornton , The Perils of Praline: Or, the Amorous Adventures of a Southern Gentleman in Hollywood

5 " If you keep offering to have sex with me, I'm going to think you like me. "

― Marshall Thornton , The Perils of Praline: Or, the Amorous Adventures of a Southern Gentleman in Hollywood

6 " Frenemies were uniquely Californian. A danger his mother forgotten to mention. "

― Marshall Thornton , The Perils of Praline: Or, the Amorous Adventures of a Southern Gentleman in Hollywood

7 " too old to be fashionable but not too old enough to be retro. "

― Marshall Thornton , The Perils of Praline: Or, the Amorous Adventures of a Southern Gentleman in Hollywood

8 " Busy? It's the middle of the night what could you be-" she gasped.
"Are you having sex? Don't tell me. I'm a good Christian woman and I don't want to know about such things. All right, tell me a little bit, but don't be graphic unless absolutely necessary. "

― Marshall Thornton , The Perils of Praline: Or, the Amorous Adventures of a Southern Gentleman in Hollywood

9 " If anyone understands what makes a good story God does. "

― Marshall Thornton , The Perils of Praline: Or, the Amorous Adventures of a Southern Gentleman in Hollywood

10 " I hate it when you talk to God. He always agrees with you. "

― Marshall Thornton , The Perils of Praline: Or, the Amorous Adventures of a Southern Gentleman in Hollywood

11 " Then, Jason looked up and asked, "Do you realized that there are more words for penis in English language then there are for love?"
"I did not know that," Praline replied.
"Can we discuss it later? "

― Marshall Thornton , The Perils of Praline: Or, the Amorous Adventures of a Southern Gentleman in Hollywood

12 " Stalking is a felony," Jason pointed out.
"They've made loving someone criminal?"
"Only if you've never met them. "

― Marshall Thornton , The Perils of Praline: Or, the Amorous Adventures of a Southern Gentleman in Hollywood

13 " It seems crazy to live in a place like Los Angeles with hot guys everywhere and go without. It was just like working in a chocolate factory and denying yourself candy. "

― Marshall Thornton , The Perils of Praline: Or, the Amorous Adventures of a Southern Gentleman in Hollywood

14 " Part of him knew he shouldn't follow the young man. But another part had begun to stir in his pants. "

― Marshall Thornton , The Perils of Praline: Or, the Amorous Adventures of a Southern Gentleman in Hollywood

15 " Not-Dave G. gave Praline a long stare, the kind of stare that telegraphed not just lust, but three or four possible sex acts. "

― Marshall Thornton , The Perils of Praline: Or, the Amorous Adventures of a Southern Gentleman in Hollywood

16 " Don't worry, I'll calm down by tonight when we go out. Provided you keep your clothes on all day and manage not to commit any felonies."
Praline mumbled a promise to do his best, though even he worried that it might not be possible. "

― Marshall Thornton , The Perils of Praline: Or, the Amorous Adventures of a Southern Gentleman in Hollywood

17 " I know what a sugar daddy is,”
Praline said indignantly.
“I grew up with cable TV. "

― Marshall Thornton , The Perils of Praline: Or, the Amorous Adventures of a Southern Gentleman in Hollywood

18 " Celebrity spouse was exactly the arena he could excel in; it required good looks, red-carpet skills and unwavering enthusiasm(both public and private). He was totally qualified. "

― Marshall Thornton , The Perils of Praline: Or, the Amorous Adventures of a Southern Gentleman in Hollywood

19 " ..and whatever you do stay away from cults. There are all sorts of nutty cults out in Lala Land. Crazy people believing in aliens and spaceships."
"Mama, you believe in aliens and spaceships."
"Yes, but I believe in Jesus, too. That makes it different. "

― Marshall Thornton , The Perils of Praline: Or, the Amorous Adventures of a Southern Gentleman in Hollywood

20 " The Ten Commandments As Interpreted by Robin Palmetier

1. Don’t lie. Unless it’s to the police.

2. Don’t cheat your customers. Robin always made sure her dime bags were just a bit larger than any other dealers’ in the area, insuring loyalty in her clientele.

3. Always be polite. Especially to people who don’t like you, as it will piss them off.

4. Don’t steal from anyone. Anyone meaning people, leaving corporations and the IRS fair game.

5. Don’t kill. This one was also on the Bible’s list but, like many Christians, Robin had a long list of exceptions to this rule. It was okay to kill
sexual predators (unless they were born-again while serving time), liberal commentators, and anyone described as a "bad guy" by the greatest journalist and political leader of all time, Box News commentator Malcolm Wright. Unless, of course, Mr. Wright happened to be talking about one of her
personal friends, which, on occasion, he had.

6. Do not take the Lord’s name in vein. Shit, fuck, cock, pussy, bitch, bastard and their ilk were just fine. Goddamn’s and Jesus Christ’s were no-no’s.

7. Always repay a favor with a favor. Someone does something nice for you, do something nice right back. Being in someone’s debt is a dangerous thing.

8. Affirm that every word in the Bible is true, except the parts that clearly aren’t. Like that thing about eating shellfish—though supposedly an
abomination on par with adultery, murder, poly-cotton blends and paying interest on a mortgage—it could not possibly be God’s will. Robin loved
scallops and knew the good Lord would not wish to deny her this pleasure.

9. Discuss all decisions with God directly and listen closely to his advice. Sadly, when Praline tried this
himself he got nothing but an extended silence, while his mother always seemed to get very detailed instructions.

10. Always remember your mama loves you. "

― Marshall Thornton , The Perils of Praline: Or, the Amorous Adventures of a Southern Gentleman in Hollywood