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1 " Guys are like dogs. You wish you could take them all home when they're young. But after they've howled all night and slobbered all over everything, you come to realize the ones already trained are much easier to live with. "
― Paula Wall , If I Were a Man, I'd Marry Me
2 " Life is like the stock market. Some days you're up. Some days you're down. And some days you feel like something the bull left behind. "
3 " Amnesty International should list all daughters as prisoners of war. "
4 " Women typically go through four developmental stages; 1. Gotta get a man. 2. Gotta get a house. 3. Gotta get a kid. 4. Gotta get a life. Stage four is commonly referred to as the change of life, or the clinical term men-on-pause. "
5 " Mom isn't content taking a stroll down memory lane. She's bought a condo and spends half the year there. "
6 " Mom recognizes only two sources of wisdom -- the bible and Hallmark. "
7 " Old lovers are like socks. They always show up full of static cling and missing their mate. "
