The Book of Joy: Lasting Happiness in a Changing World QUOTES

43 " The most important quality to have toward your day is gratitude for what you have experienced, even for what was hard and what allowed you to learn and grow. "

― Dalai Lama XIV , The Book of Joy: Lasting Happiness in a Changing World

44 " And then the Archbishop offered his final and most effective remedy: reframing. “The very best is being able to ask yourself, ‘Why do I want to have a house that has seven rooms when there are only two or three of us? Why do I want to have it?’ And you can turn it on its head and look at how we are in such a mess with climate change because of our galloping consumption, which for the environment has been nothing less than disastrous. So you buy the small electric car instead, and you say, no I don’t need or want that big luxury car. So instead of it being your enemy, now it’s your ally.” Jinpa "

― Dalai Lama XIV , The Book of Joy: Lasting Happiness in a Changing World

45 " The goal is not just to create joy for ourselves but, as the Archbishop poetically phrased it, “to be a reservoir of joy, an oasis of peace, a pool of serenity that can ripple out to all those around you.” As we will see, joy is in fact quite contagious. As is love, compassion, and generosity. So being more joyful is not just about having more fun. We’re talking about a more empathic, more empowered, even more spiritual state of mind that is totally engaged with the world. "

― Dalai Lama XIV , The Book of Joy: Lasting Happiness in a Changing World

46 " So what is true physically is, in a wonderful way, true spiritually as well. Deep down we grow in kindness when our kindness is tested. "

― Dalai Lama XIV , The Book of Joy: Lasting Happiness in a Changing World

47 " Acceptance, it must be pointed out, is the opposite of resignation and defeat. "

― Dalai Lama XIV , The Book of Joy: Lasting Happiness in a Changing World

48 " And I think some suffering, maybe even intense suffering, is a necessary ingredient for life, certainly for developing compassion. "

― Dalai Lama XIV , The Book of Joy: Lasting Happiness in a Changing World

49 " There are four independent brain circuits that influence our lasting well-being, Davidson explained. The first is “our ability to maintain positive states.” It makes sense that the ability to maintain positive states or positive emotions would directly impact one’s ability to experience happiness. These two great spiritual leaders were saying that the fastest way to this state is to start with love and compassion. The second circuit is responsible for “our ability to recover from negative states.” What was most fascinating to me was that these circuits were totally independent. One could be good at maintaining positive states but easily fall into an abyss of a negative state from which one had a hard time recovering. That explained a lot in my life. The third circuit, also independent but essential to the others, is “our ability to focus and avoid mind-wandering.” This of course was the circuit that so much of meditation exists to develop. Whether it was focusing on one’s breath, or a mantra, or the analytic meditation that the Dalai Lama did each morning, this ability to focus one’s attention was fundamental. The fourth and final circuit is “our ability to be generous.” That was amazing to me: that we had an entire brain circuit, one of four, devoted to generosity. It is no wonder that our brains feel so good when we help others or are helped by others, or even witness others being helped, which Ekman had described as the elevation that is one dimension of joy. There was strong and compelling research that we come factory equipped for cooperation, compassion, and generosity. "

― Dalai Lama XIV , The Book of Joy: Lasting Happiness in a Changing World

50 " What is this thing called joy, and how is it possible that it can evoke such a wide range of feelings? How can the experience of joy span from those tears of joy at a birth to an irrepressible belly laugh at a joke to a serenely contented smile during meditation? Joy seems to blanket this entire emotional expanse. Paul Ekman, famed emotions researcher and longtime friend of the Dalai Lama, has written that joy is associated with feelings as varied as: pleasure (of the five senses) amusement (from a chuckle to a belly laugh) contentment (a calmer kind of satisfaction) excitement (in response to novelty or challenge) relief (following upon another emotion, such as fear, anxiety, and even pleasure) wonder (before something astonishing and admirable) ecstasy or bliss (transporting us outside ourselves) exultation (at having accomplished a difficult or daring task) radiant pride (when our children earn a special honor) unhealthy jubilation or schadenfreude (relishing in someone else’s suffering) elevation (from having witnessed an act of kindness, generosity, or compassion) gratitude (the appreciation of a selfless act of which one is the beneficiary) "

― Dalai Lama XIV , The Book of Joy: Lasting Happiness in a Changing World

51 " In his book on happiness, Buddhist scholar and former scientist Matthieu Ricard has added three other more exalted states of joy: rejoicing (in someone else’s happiness, what Buddhists call mudita) delight or enchantment (a shining kind of contentment) spiritual radiance (a serene joy born from deep well-being and benevolence) "

― Dalai Lama XIV , The Book of Joy: Lasting Happiness in a Changing World

52 " If something can be done about the situation, what need is there for dejection? And if nothing can be done about it, what use is there for being dejected? "

― Dalai Lama XIV , The Book of Joy: Lasting Happiness in a Changing World

53 " Forgiveness does not mean you forget what someone has done, contrary to the saying “Forgive and forget.” Not reacting with negativity, or giving in to the negative emotions, does not mean you do not respond to the acts or that you allow yourself to be harmed again. Forgiveness does not mean that you do not seek justice or that the perpetrator is not punished. "

― Dalai Lama XIV , The Book of Joy: Lasting Happiness in a Changing World

54 " Without forgiveness, we remain tethered to the person who harmed us. We are bound to the chains of bitterness, tied together, trapped. Until we can forgive the person who harmed us, that person will hold the keys to our happiness, that person will be our jailor. When we forgive, we take back control of our own fate and our feelings. We become our own liberator. "

― Dalai Lama XIV , The Book of Joy: Lasting Happiness in a Changing World

55 " Suffering is inevitable, they said, but how we respond to that suffering is our choice. Not even oppression or occupation can take away this freedom to choose our response. Right "

― Dalai Lama XIV , The Book of Joy: Lasting Happiness in a Changing World

56 " One of the key paradoxes in Buddhism is that we need goals to be inspired, to grow, and to develop, even to become enlightened, but at the same time we must not get overly fixated or attached to these aspirations. If the goal is noble, your commitment to the goal should not be contingent on your ability to attain it, and in pursuit of our goal, we must release our rigid assumptions about how we must achieve it. Peace and equanimity come from letting go of our attachment to the goal and the method. That is the essence of acceptance. Reflecting "

― Dalai Lama XIV , The Book of Joy: Lasting Happiness in a Changing World

57 " During the week their fingers were often wagging at each other teasingly, moments before their hands were clasped together affectionately. During our first lunch the Archbishop told the story of a talk they were giving together. As they were getting ready to walk on stage, the Dalai Lama—the world’s icon of compassion and peace—pretended to choke his spiritual older brother. The Archbishop turned to the Dalai Lama and said, “Hey, the cameras are on us, act like a holy man.” These "

― Dalai Lama XIV , The Book of Joy: Lasting Happiness in a Changing World

58 " large meta-analysis by Morris Okun and his colleagues have found that volunteering reduces the risk of death by 24 percent. "

― Dalai Lama XIV , The Book of Joy: Lasting Happiness in a Changing World

59 " And I hope we can convey to God’s children out there how deeply they are loved. How deeply, deeply precious they are to this God. Even the despised refugee whose name no one seems to know. I look frequently at pictures of people fleeing from violence, and there’s so much of it. Look at the children. I say that God is crying, because that is not how God wanted us to live. But you see again even in those circumstances, you have these people who come from other parts of the world to try to help, to make things better. And through the tears, God begins to smile. And when God sees you and hears how you try to help God’s children, God smiles.” The Archbishop was now beaming, and he whispered the word smile as if it were the holy name of God. "

― Dalai Lama XIV , The Book of Joy: Lasting Happiness in a Changing World

60 " So when joy arises at the level of your mind and not just your senses, you can maintain a deep sense of satisfaction for a much longer period of time—even for twenty-four hours. “So I always say to people, you have to pay more attention to the mental level of joy and happiness. Not just physical pleasure, but satisfaction at the level of mind. This is true joyfulness. When you are joyful and happy at the mental level, physical pain doesn’t matter very much. But if there is no joy or happiness at the mental level, too much worrying, too much fear, then even physical comforts and pleasure will not soothe your mental discomfort.” “Many "

― Dalai Lama XIV , The Book of Joy: Lasting Happiness in a Changing World