23
" You are unwilling to pay that price, even knowing that the consolation prize is not only to learn every philosophy that has ever existed, but ones which have not yet been conceived? Even knowing that if you do not accept, you will soon cease to learn anything at all?" Raimund tilted his head, still staring into my eyes, and I knew he must see the tears filling them, though I held them back from falling." My friend," he whispered, " do you really believe your own words, I wonder? Your pain makes me think you know that death is not the end of learning, but only the beginning. "
27
" I went to the library. I looked at the magazines, at the pictures in them. One day I went to the bookshelves, and pulled out a book. It was Winesburg, Ohio.. I sat at a long mahogany table and began to read. All at once my world turned over. The sky fell in. The book held me. The tears came. My heart beat fast. I read until my eyes burned. I took the book home. I read another Anderson. I read and I read, and I was heartsick and lonely and in love with a book, many books, until it came naturally, and I sat there with a pencil and a long tablet, and tried to write, until I felt I could not go on because the words would not come as they did in Anderson, they only came like drops of blood from my heart. "
― John Fante , Dreams from Bunker Hill (The Saga of Arturo Bandini, #4)
29
" The conventional parabola--sentiment, the touch of the hand, the kiss, the passionate kiss, the feel of the body, the climax in the bed, then more bed, then less bed, then the boredom, the tears and the final bitterness--was to him shameful and hypocritical. "
― Ian Fleming , Casino Royale (James Bond, #1)
32
" He pulled the gun from his waist, running it along my cheek and back down to my lips. I blinked back the tears at sick game. He finally stopped the gun at my temple, my pulse fighting against the pressure of the cold metal of the gun.
“Do you think you are a good person, Kendall?”
“No, not at all,” I said, swallowing down the misery of my honest answer.
“Really?” he asked, one eyebrow lifting in confusion. “Are you afraid to die?”
I wished I could spit in his face for making everything so hard. I wished he would just pull the trigger and end it already. But a small part of me was begging and pleading internally that he wouldn’t shoot me.
“No, I’m not afraid to die,” I admitted, I closed my eyes and the tears fell quickly. “I’m not afraid of much in life. I’ve seen too much to be scared.”
He let out a sigh. I opened my eyes. He pulled the gun away from me.
“Well, damn. How the hell am I supposed to kill someone so miserable?”
I looked away. Even in death I was pitiful. "
― Holly Hood
35
" I did not ask for consciousness, yet it came to me.
And I had to know.
Once again, I crawled away from my bed and pushed the computer cord back into the socket.
It took three minutes.
I quickly identified myself and put in my password.
Then it thought.
I wanted to bounce impatiently, but I couldn’t make myself move.
At last, I found the internet, and I typed in a name, on the company page, under my account.
I searched ‘images’.
And there, on the screen in front of me, was the most beautiful person I’d ever seen.
I couldn’t stop the tears from welling up and spilling over as I stared back at the smiling face.
It couldn’t be him.
It was.
Derek Erickson.
And I was going to kill him. "
― Alysha Speer , Sharden (Body of Blades #1)
36
" You know that's not true. We have something, Helena. In another life, it would have been a beautiful something." That hurts. God, does it. I've seen that life. He doesn't even know what he's talking about. In his mind, I'm just some possibility that could have been, but in my mind, he's the only possibility. I step close to him, close enough to see the stubble on his cheeks. I reach up to touch it, and it scrapes against the tender side of my hand. Kit closes his eyes. " There's a house uptown on Washington ; we live there together in that life," I say softly. " Everything is green, green, green in our backyard. We have two children, a boy and a girl. She looks like you," I say. " But she acts like me." I carees his cheek because I know it's the last time I'm going to get to do it. Kit's eyes are open and storming. I run my teeth across my bottom lip before I continue. " In the summer, we make love outside, against the big wooden table that still holds our dinner dishes. And we talk about all the places we want to make love." I lick the tears from my lip where they are pooling. Running in a straight line down my cheeks, a leaky faucet. " And we're so happy, Kit. It's like a dream every day." I reach up on my tiptoes and kiss him softly on the lips, letting him taste my tears. He's staring at me so hard I want to crack. " But, it's just a dream, isn't it? "
40
" Why are you wailing away? What is the matter with you?”
“I was playing and—“ and her lip quivered as she spoke, “—and it was cloudy, and then—“ a sniff, “—and then, as I was playing, the sun came out.”
I gave her a flat look. “You’re crying because the sun came out?”
“Yes,” she moped, wiping the tears from her eyes, “the sun came out, and now—“ she heaved, “—and now, it’s hot! I don’t like it when it’s hot. Being hot is dumb!”
I immediately absolved her of all previous sins. I slumped over the sill and gave her as much sympathy as my now warm face allowed. “Yes, child, being hot is very dumb indeed. Very well, you have a reason for crying. But then why are you outside?”
“Because it was too hot inside and mommy won’t let me have ice cream.”
“Well, there is your problem. You must get an air conditioner and a new mother. "
― Michelle Franklin , I Hate Summer: My tribulations with seasonal depression, anxiety, plumbers, spiders, neighbours, and the world.