42
" If you are her man, she will talk to you until there just
aren’t any more words left to say, encourage you when you’re
at rock bottom and think there just isn’t any way out, hold you
in her arms when you’re sick, and laugh with you when you’re
up. And if you’re her man and that woman loves you—I mean
really loves you?—she will shine you up when you’re dusty,
encourage you when you’re down, defend you even when she’s
not so sure you were right, and hang on your every word, even
when you’re not saying anything worth listening to. "
― Steve Harvey , Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man: What Men Really Think About Love, Relationships, Intimacy, and Commitment
50
" Can't stay long, Mother," he said. " I'm up front, the prefects have got two compartments to themselves-" " Oh, are you a prefect, Percy?" said one of the twins, with an air of great surprise. " You should have said something, we had no idea." " Hang on, I think I remember him saying something about it," said the other twin. " Once-" " Or twice-" " A minute-" " All summer-" " Oh, shut up," said Percy the Prefect. "
53
" It’s sarcasm, Josh.”
“Sarcasm?”
“It’s from the Greek, sarkasmos. To bite the lips. It means that you aren’t really saying what you mean, but people will get your point. I invented it, Bartholomew named it.”
“Well, if the village idiot named it, I’m sure it’s a good thing.”
“There you go, you got it.”
“Got what?”
“Sarcasm.”
“No, I meant it.”
“Sure you did.”
“Is that sarcasm?”
“Irony, I think.”
“What’s the difference?”
“I haven’t the slightest idea.”
“So you’re being ironic now, right?”
“No, I really don’t know.”
“Maybe you should ask the idiot.”
“Now you’ve got it.”
“What?”
“Sarcasm. "
― Christopher Moore , Lamb: The Gospel According to Biff, Christ's Childhood Pal
58
" Procrastination is not the problem. It is the solution. It is the universe's way of saying stop, slow down, you move too fast. Listen to the music. Whoa whoa, listen to the music. Because music makes the people come together, it makes the bourgeois and the rebel. So come on people now, smile on your brother, everybody try to love one another. Because what the world needs now is love, sweet love. And I know that love is a battlefield, but boogie on reggae woman because you're gonna make it after all. So celebrate good times, come on. I've gotta stop I've gotta come to my senses, I've been out riding fences for so long... oops I did it again... um... What I'm trying to say is, if you leave tonight and you don't remember anything else that I've said, leave here and remember this: Procrastinate now, don't put it off. "
