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1 " My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was sixty. She's ninety-seven now, and we don't know where the heck she is. "
― Ellen DeGeneres
2 " I Will Not Tease Rebecca GrimesI have to write one hundred times:" I will not tease Rebecca Grimes." Okay, that's one. I'm far from done.(This isn't gonna be much fun.) " I will not tease Rebecca Grimes." That's two. I'm paying for my crimes.It's all because I pulled her hairAnd put spaghetti on her chair.Because I gave her goofy looksAnd squirted mustard on her books,I have to write one hundred times:" I will not tease Rebecca Grimes." That's three. Whoopee. It's going slow.Just ninety-seven more to go." I will not tease" (I'm keeping score.)" Rebecca Grimes." (Now that makes four.)I'm soaked with sweat. My shirt is damp.I think I'm getting writer's cramp." I will not, will not, will not teaseRebecca Grimes!" Can I stop, please?The teacher frowns, and that means no.I still have sixty-six to go." I will-will-will not-not-not-notTease-tease-tease-tease..." It's getting hot." I will not tease Rebecca Grimes." That's ninety-nine. The school bell chimes.Just one more line and I'll be through.Rebecca Grimes, this one's for you!My final line will rhyme with " Grimes" :" I will not tease Rebecca...Slimes!" Rebecca Slimes! Ha ha! That's great!I'd better hide it. Oops! Too late!The teacher sees what I wrote down.She takes my paper with a frown.I now must write one thousand times:" I will not tease Rebecca Grimes. "
3 " If anything she was a shade too plump, but she knew the ninety-seven ways of making love that the Hindus are supposed to set much store by―though mind you, it is all nonsense, for the seventy-fourth position turns out to be the same as the seventy-third, but with your fingers crossed. "
― George MacDonald Fraser , Flashman (The Flashman Papers, #1)
4 " Mister Rob Anybody and sundry others?" said one of the figures in a dreadful voice." There's naebody here o' that name!" shouted Rob Anybody. " We dinna know anythin'!" " We have here a list of criminal and civil charges totaling nineteen thousand, seven hundred and sixty-three separate offenses-" " We wasna there!" yelled Rob Anybody desperately. " Isn't that right, lads?" " -including more than two thousand cases of Making an Affray, Causing a Public Nuisance, Being Found Drunk, Being Found Very Drunk, Using Offensive Language (taking into account ninety-seven cases of Using Language That Was Probably Offensive If Anyone Else Could Understand It), Committing a Breach of the Peace, Malicious Lingering-" " It's mistaken identity!" shouted Rob Anybody. " It's no' oour fault! We wuz only standing there an' someone else did it and ran awa'!" " -Grand Theft, Petty Theft, Burglary, Housebreaking, Loitering with Intent to Commit a Felony-" " We wuz misunderstood when we was wee bairns!" yelled Rob Anybody. " Ye're only picking on us 'cause we're blue! We always get blamed for everythin'! The polis hate us! We wasna even in the country! "
5 " My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was sixty. She's ninety-seven now, and we don't know where the hell she is. "
