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" Mister Rob Anybody and sundry others?" said one of the figures in a dreadful voice." There's naebody here o' that name!" shouted Rob Anybody. " We dinna know anythin'!" " We have here a list of criminal and civil charges totaling nineteen thousand, seven hundred and sixty-three separate offenses-" " We wasna there!" yelled Rob Anybody desperately. " Isn't that right, lads?" " -including more than two thousand cases of Making an Affray, Causing a Public Nuisance, Being Found Drunk, Being Found Very Drunk, Using Offensive Language (taking into account ninety-seven cases of Using Language That Was Probably Offensive If Anyone Else Could Understand It), Committing a Breach of the Peace, Malicious Lingering-" " It's mistaken identity!" shouted Rob Anybody. " It's no' oour fault! We wuz only standing there an' someone else did it and ran awa'!" " -Grand Theft, Petty Theft, Burglary, Housebreaking, Loitering with Intent to Commit a Felony-" " We wuz misunderstood when we was wee bairns!" yelled Rob Anybody. " Ye're only picking on us 'cause we're blue! We always get blamed for everythin'! The polis hate us! We wasna even in the country! "


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