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my balls QUOTES

my balls QUOTES

1 " Well," Ben went on," someone should just tell her to come on home, because she can find the world's largest balls right here in Orlando, Florida. They're located in a special display case known as 'my scrotum.'" Radar laughed, and Ben continued. " I mean seriously. My balls are so big that when you order french fries from McDonald's, you can choose one of four sizes: small, medium,large, and my balls. "

2 " You’re starting to look like you did before, and that’s not good because what you looked like was complete shit, so get up and go to bed so I can stop acting like your mother. I can already feel my balls starting to recede. And hey, does it look like I’m growing breasts? - Kye "

― Krista Alasti , Taming Shadows

3 " You know, one time I saw Tiger down at the water hole: he had the biggest testicles of any animal, and the sharpest claws, and two front teeth as long as knives and as sharp as blades. And I said to him, Brother Tiger, you go for a swim, I’ll look after your balls for you. He was so proud of his balls. So he got into the water hole for a swim, and I put his balls on, and left him my own little spider balls. And then, you know what I did? I ran away, fast as my legs would take me
“I didn’t stop till I got to the next town, And I saw Old Monkey there. You lookin’ mighty fine, Anansi, said Old Monkey. I said to him, You know what they all singin’ in the town over there? What are they singin’? he asks me. They singin’ the funniest song, I told him. Then I did a dance, and I sings,
Tiger’s balls, yeah,
I ate Tiger’s balls
Now ain’t nobody gonna stop me ever at all
Nobody put me up against the big black wall
’Cos I ate that Tiger’s testimonials
I ate Tiger’s balls.
“Old Monkey he laughs fit to bust, holding his side and shakin’, and stampin’, then he starts singin’ Tiger’s balls, I ate Tiger’s balls, snappin’ his fingers, spinnin’ around on his two feet. That’s a fine song, he says, I’m goin’ to sing it to all my friends. You do that, I tell him, and I head back to the water hole.
“There’s Tiger, down by the water hole, walkin’ up and down, with his tail switchin’ and swishin’ and his ears and the fur on his neck up as far as they can go, and he’s snappin’ at every insect comes by with his huge old saber teeth, and his eyes flashin’ orange fire. He looks mean and scary and big, but danglin’ between his legs, there’s the littlest balls in the littlest blackest most wrinkledy ball-sack you ever did see.
“Hey, Anansi, he says, when he sees me. You were supposed to be guarding my balls while I went swimming. But when I got out of the swimming hole, there was nothing on the side of the bank but these little black shriveled-up good-for-nothing spider balls I’m wearing.
“I done my best, I tells him, but it was those monkeys, they come by and eat your balls all up, and when I tell them off, then they pulled off my own little balls. And I was so ashamed I ran away.
“You a liar, Anansi, says Tiger. I’m going to eat your liver. But then he hears the monkeys coming from their town to the water hole. A dozen happy monkeys, boppin’ down the path, clickin’ their fingers and singin’ as loud as they could sing,
Tiger’s balls, yeah,
I ate Tiger’s balls
Now ain’t nobody gonna stop me ever at all
Nobody put me up against the big black wall
’Cos I ate that Tiger’s testimonials
I ate Tiger’s balls.
“And Tiger, he growls, and he roars and he’s off into the forest after them, and the monkeys screech and head for the highest trees. And I scratch my nice new big balls, and damn they felt good hangin’ between my skinny legs, and I walk on home. And even today, Tiger keeps chasin’ monkeys. So you all remember: just because you’re small, doesn’t mean you got no power. "

― Neil Gaiman , American Gods (American Gods, #1)

4 " So here were the facts: I felt possessive of her. Not in a romantic sort of way, but in a " hit her over the head, drag her off by the hair, and fuck her" way. Like she was my toy and I was keeping the other boys in the sandbox from playing with her. How sick was that? If she ever heard me admit to that, she would cut off my balls and feed them to me. "

5 " She had be by the balls - literally had her fingers wrapped around my balls! Her hand fit them good, Mitch!" I can hear desire in his voice. " At times it was a little painful, I have to admit, but my balls were made to fit in her palm. Mitch, " he says, all too seriously, " I have found the keeper of my balls, Mitch. I'm ready to hand them over. "

6 " How does he get that caveman shit to work for him? I would get my balls ripped off and stuffed in my mouth if I pulled what he does. "

― Erin McCarthy , Full Throttle (Fast Track, #7)

7 " Me too, Arch,” Jeremiah said. “I want an answer about my request to transfer. Even now, my balls are shrinking in anticipation of going back out in the cold. I said I'd give my life protecting humanity, but my balls were never in the bargain. "

― , Voluptuous Vindication (The Endurers, #4)

8 " It’s alright, Kitten,” Bones said. “He won’t shoot.”
Tate lowered his gun, even as the sudden dizziness from blood-loss made me sway.
Bones took my gun and casually handed it to Juan, who gapped at him in amazement.
“You called her Kitten? And she let you? She put me in a coma for three days when I called her that. My balls never recovered from her smashing them into my spine.”
“And well she should have,” Bones agreed. “She’s mine. Kitten, and no one else’s. "

― Jeaniene Frost , Halfway to the Grave (Night Huntress, #1)

9 " He didn’t recruit me,” Cett pointed out. “I got pulled by my balls into this little fiasco.”

“I wish I cared enough to apologize,” Elend said, staring at them. "

― Brandon Sanderson , The Hero of Ages (Mistborn, #3)

10 " What sort of funny songs?" " My balls are swearing my balls are swearing I can't keep my balls from sweating ohhh no." " How is that funny?" I asked. " As in the balls of your feet?" " No, it's like this thing..... Never mind," he said. "

11 " If you’re not good, I’ll burn your—”
“Yeah, I know.” MeShack strolled to his bedroom. “You’ll burn my balls off. "

― Kenya Wright , Fire Baptized (Santeria Habitat, #1)

12 " Kaitlyn froze and then said in a low tone, " That'd better be your gun." " Why yes, I always pack my gun where it'll blow my balls off." [Landon] "

13 " I'm pretty sure those're my balls you've found,” I said to the man searching my pants. “You gonna count 'em out now? Because I'll save you the trouble. There's two. "

― Nenia Campbell , Armed and Dangerous (The IMA, #2)

14 " In the past I was a vicious hunter. I would stalk my prey with pinpoint accuracy. Ever since Monica came into my life I’ve abstained from the game. It almost feels strange to stand here and look to the crowd knowing I could pick one and f*ck them into oblivion. I won’t though. I may love her, but that isn’t the reason. If I were to pick someone for the sake of revenge sex then I’m giving control to Monica and Dalton for betraying me. I’m strong enough to wait. A good hunter is always patient and never stalks in anger.'
'I always crack it until Tobias stops flinching at the sound. It’s never the same amount of times. I don’t want it to become obvious so I always do it a few more times to create a sense of surprise.
I coil up the leather and with the flick of my wrist I set a perfect line against Monica’s back. She yelps in pain and surprise, and Tobias joins her. He thought he’d get the first blow.
I breathe through the pounding in my cock. It beats in time with my rapidly beating heart.
I flick my wrist again taking Monica across the shoulder. I see Tobias tense as she screams. Mustn’t allow the slaves to think they are taking even turns. The blow’s shock is what makes my cock burn for release. I palm my balls as they tighten, threatening to shoot my release up the stock of my dick. I inhale through my nose and breathe out my mouth until I regain my control.
I flick my wrist again and hit Monica across her thighs. She screams bloody murder at the ceiling and I smile to myself. It hurts like a bitch, but the marks will fade. I never break skin. This is my passion- my gift. "

― Erica Chilson , Dexter (Mistress & Master of Restraint, #3)

15 " You know, you'd do a better job of convincing the men if you dipped your wick in a pussy or two." Cillian's low voice made him tense. The man stood next to Sean's barstool, watching the sexual festivities in boredom." I have a girlfriend," he mumbled." I'm sure she won't mind." Sean glanced at the naked women littering the room, picturing the look on Bailey's face if he admitted to " dipping his wick" in a prostie. " She'd rip my balls off," he said dryly. "

16 " Smiling, she went for his throat and almost had him, when—using a move that was all sorts of illegal—he flipped her again so her front pressed into the leaf-laden ground, her wrists still locked in his iron grip and pinned above her head. “Cheater.”
“So says the woman who tried to kick my balls into my throat,” he pointed out, even as he licked the salt off the skin of her neck in a lazy and highly provocative move. "

― Nalini Singh , Branded by Fire (Psy-Changeling, #6)

17 " It’s universally known that the more forbidden something is, the more desirable it becomes. I feel this truth like a fist around my balls as I enter my classroom after lunch and find the forbidden object of my desire waiting for me. "

― Pam Godwin, Dark Notes

18 " It’s not funny. How would you like it if your balls fled in fear? My balls haven’t been this frightened since I dove into the icy water at the Polar Bear Plunge my first year of high school. "

― K.C. Faelan , If At First You Don't Succeed