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1 " The worst part of writing fiction is the fear of wasting your life behind a keyboard. The idea that, dying, you'll realize you only lived on paper. Your only adventures were make-believe, and while the world fought and kissed, you sat in some dark room masturbating and making money. "
― Chuck Palahniuk , Non-Fiction
2 " Some people are so sexually unattractive that the thought of masturbating turns them off. "
― Mokokoma Mokhonoana , On Masturbation: A Satirical Essay
3 " Strangers when you meet, strangers when you part -a gymnasium of bodies namelessly masturbating each other. People with no morals often considered themselves more free, but mostly they lacked the ability to feel or to love. So they became swingers. The dead fucking the dead. There was no gamble or humor in their game -it was corpse fucking corpse. Morals were restrictive, but they were grounded on human experience down through the centuries. Some morals tended to keep people slaves in factories, in churches and true to the State. Other morals simply made good sense. It was like a garden filled with poisoned fruit and good fruit. You had to know which to pick and eat, which to leave alone. "
― Charles Bukowski , Women
4 " A perverse nature can be stimulated by anything. Any book can be used as a pornographic instrument, even a great work of literature if the mind that so uses it is off-balance. I once found a small boy masturbating in the presence of the Victorian steel-engraving in a family Bible. "
― Anthony Burgess , A Clockwork Orange
5 " Homo sapiens is one of the few species on earth that care if they’re seen having sex. The impala is unconcerned. The dingo roundly flaunts it. A masturbating chimpanzee will stare straight at you. To any creature other than you and I and 6 billion other privacy-needing H. sapiens, sex is like peeling a mango or scratching your ear. It’s just something you do sometimes. "
― Mary Roach , Bonk: The Curious Coupling of Science and Sex
6 " There is no way I am masturbating with a gringo to something as vile and disgusting as worm-rape! "
― Vince Kramer , Gigantic Death Worm
7 " I thought masturbating was embarassing. I didn't even know why. It just was. It was like having sex with yourself. Having sex with yourself was really weird. Autoeroticism. "
― Benjamin Alire Sáenz , Aristotle and Dante Discover the Secrets of the Universe (Aristotle and Dante, #1)
8 " Someone could be paraphilic in both his erotic target and his favorite sex act. I mean, really, any pellismophilic nebulophile (someone whose most passionate moments involve masturbating in the foggy mist while listening to a person stutter) can see that. "
9 " That should give him time for another wank. It was a good job masturbating didn’t make you go blind. "
― Barbara Elsborg , Susie's Choice
10 " I will say it here on louder, all people to can hear it. I " DeYtH Banger" - I have masturbating problem ): . "
11 " The women in porn plead to be abused. They call themselves whores and sluts. They are beaten and penetrated by groups of men. Their faces are covered with semen from dozens of masturbating men, their anuses are penetrated repeatedly by lines of partners, and they are raped. The women portrayed in the films exist to fulfill the desire of men in the most degrading and painful way possible. Nearly all porn dialogue includes lines from women such as I am a cunt, I am a bitch. I am a whore. I am a slut. "
― Chris Hedges , Empire of Illusion: The End of Literacy and the Triumph of Spectacle
12 " How did I know? Paul, I've known since you were eight and I caught you masturbating in front of the TV to Bo and Luke Duke. "
― Heidi Cullinan
13 " I wouldn't give ten gallons of my own piss for clear sentence that gives the sense of a tree as a tree, when I revel in the nonsense of its being my own Grandfather, a letter from yesterday, or a masturbating fist. "
― David Joseph Cribbin , Father Crow and Other Poems