101
" This is your life. Do what you want and do it often. If you don't like something, change it. If you don't like your job, quit.If you don't have enough time, stop watching TV.If you are looking for the love of your life, stop; they will be waiting for you when you start doing things you love.Stop over-analysing, life is simple.All emotions are beautiful.When you eat, appreciate every last bite.Life is simple.Open your heart, mind and arms to new things and people, we are united in our differences.Ask the next person you see what their passion is and share your inspiring dream with them.Travel often; getting lost will help you find yourself.Some opportunities only come once, seize them.Life is about the people you meet and the things you create with them, so go out and start creating.Life is short, live your dream and wear your passion. "
110
" Out of the corner of her eye she thought she saw Jace shoot her a look of white rage - but when she glanced at him, he looked as he always did: easy, confident, slightly bored." In future, Clarissa," he said, " it might be wise to mention that you already have a man in your bed, to avoid such tedious situations." " Simon demanded, looking shaken." Ridiculous, isn't it?" said Jace. " We would never have all fit." " I didn't invite him into bed," Clary snapped. " We were just kissing." " Just kissing?" Jace's tone mocked her with its false hurt. " How swiftly you dismiss our love. "
116
" My mother made a squeaking sound that might of been either " yes" or " help" .Poseidon took it as a yes and came in.Paul was looking back and forth between us, trying to read our expressions.Finally he stepped forward." Hi, I'm Paul Blofis." Poseidon raised an eyebrow and then shook his hand." Blowfish, did you say?" " Ah, no. Blofis, actually." " Oh, I see," Poseidon said. " A shame. I quite like blowfish. I am Poseidon." " Poseidon? That's an interesting name." " Yes, I like it. I've gone by other names, but I do prefer Poseidon." " Like the god of the sea." " Very much like that, yes" " Well!" My mother interrupted. " Um, were so glad you could drop by. Paul, this is Percy's father." " Ah." Paul nodded, though he didn't look real pleased. " I see." Poseidon smiled at me. " There you are, my boy. And Tyson, hello, son!" " Daddy!" Tyson [shouted]...Paul's jaw dropped. He stared at my mother. " Tyson is..." " Not mine," she promised. " It's a long story. "
117
" I know that David Tennant's Hamlet isn't till July. And lots of people are going to be doing Dr Who in Hamlet jokes, so this is just me getting it out of the way early, to avoid the rush..." To be, or not to be, that is the question. Weeelll.... More of A question really. Not THE question. Because, well, I mean, there are billions and billions of questions out there, and well, when I say billions, I mean, when you add in the answers, not just the questions, weeelll, you're looking at numbers that are positively astronomical and... for that matter the other question is what you lot are doing on this planet in the first place, and er, did anyone try just pushing this little red button? "
119
" Something is wrong here. War, disease, death, destruction, hunger, filth, poverty, torture, crime, corruption, and the Ice Capades. Something is definitely wrong. This is not good work. If this is the best God can do, I am not impressed. Results like these do not belong on the résumé of a Supreme Being. This is the kind of shit you'd expect from an office temp with a bad attitude. And just between you and me, in any decently-run universe, this guy would've been out on his all-powerful ass a long time ago. And by the way, I say " this guy" , because I firmly believe, looking at these results, that if there is a God, it has to be a man.No woman could or would ever fuck things up like this. So, if there is a God, I think most reasonable people might agree that he's at least incompetent, and maybe, just maybe, doesn't give a shit. Doesn't give a shit, which I admire in a person, and which would explain a lot of these bad results. "
120
" It comes from a very ancient democracy, you see..." " You mean, it comes from a world of lizards?" " No," said Ford, who by this time was a little more rational and coherent than he had been, having finally had the coffee forced down him, " nothing so simple. Nothing anything like so straightforward. On its world, the people are people. The leaders are lizards. The people hate the lizards and the lizards rule the people." " Odd," said Arthur, " I thought you said it was a democracy." " I did," said Ford. " It is." " So," said Arthur, hoping he wasn't sounding ridiculously obtuse, " why don't people get rid of the lizards?" " It honestly doesn't occur to them," said Ford. " They've all got the vote, so they all pretty much assume that the government they've voted in more or less approximates to the government they want." " You mean they actually vote for the lizards?" " Oh yes," said Ford with a shrug, " of course." " But," said Arthur, going for the big one again, " why?" " Because if they didn't vote for a lizard," said Ford, " the wrong lizard might get in. Got any gin?" " What?" " I said," said Ford, with an increasing air of urgency creeping into his voice, " have you got any gin?" " I'll look. Tell me about the lizards." Ford shrugged again." Some people say that the lizards are the best thing that ever happenned to them," he said. " They're completely wrong of course, completely and utterly wrong, but someone's got to say it." " But that's terrible," said Arthur." Listen, bud," said Ford, " if I had one Altairian dollar for every time I heard one bit of the Universe look at another bit of the Universe and say 'That's terrible' I wouldn't be sitting here like a lemon looking for a gin. "