3
" Pitiful and pitied by no one, why have I come to the ignominy of this detestable old age, who was ruler of two kingdoms, mother of two kings? My guts are torn from me, my family is carried off and removed from me. The young king [crown prince Henry, †1183] and the count of Britanny [prince Geoffrey, †1186] sleep in dust, and their most unhappy mother is compelled to be irremediably tormented by the memory of the dead. Two sons remain to my solace, who today survive to punish me, miserable and condemned. King Richard [the Lionheart] is held in chains [in captivity with Emperor Henry VI of Germany]. His brother, John, depletes his kingdom with iron [the sword] and lays it waste with fire. In all things the Lord has turned cruel to me and attacked me with the harshness of his hand. Truly his wrath battles against me: my sons fight amongst themselves, if it is a fight where where one is restrained in chains, the other, adding sorrow to sorrow, undertakes to usurp the kingdom of the exile by cruel tyranny. Good Jesus, who will grant that you protect me in hell and hide me until your fury passes, until the arrows which are in me cease, by which my whole spirit is sucked "
12
" Training?'Clary echoed." But we trained yesterday." " Some of us have to train everyday,Clary." Jace didnt sound angry,but there was a harshness to his tone,and Clary flushed." Ill see you later," he added without looking at her,and practically flung himself toward the door.As it shut behind him,Clary reached up and angerily yanked the pins out of her hair.It cascaded in tangles down around her shoulders." Clary," Luke said gently.He stood up." What are you doing?" " My hair." She yanked the last pin,hard.Her eyes were shining,and simon could tell she was forcibly wiling herself not to cry." I dont want to wear it like this.It looks stupid." 'No,it dosent'Luke said "
17
" My father's attitude was that this was but an inevitable phase of my growing up and he affected to take it lightly. But beneath his jocular, boys-together air, he was at a loss, he was frightened. Perhaps he had supposed that my growing up would bring us closer together— whereas, now that he was trying to find out something about me, I was in full flight from him. I did not want him to know me. I did not want anyone to know me. And then, again, I was undergoing with my father what the very young inevitably undergo with their elders: I was beginning to judge him. And the very harshness of this judgment, which broke my heart, revealed, though I could not have said it then, how much I had loved him, how that love, along with my innocence, was dying. "
― James Baldwin , Giovanni's Room