Jarod QUOTES

1 " My heart is burning a hole in my chest and every time you speak to me, it keeps sinking, and I'm left with nothing but ashes. I wish she were talking to me, because the more she speaks to me, the more my heart flutters like a rising phoenix.
-Karen Quan and Jarod Kintz "

― Jarod Kintz , liQUID PROse QUOtes

2 " The aching in my chest
isn't because I miss you,
it's realizing that you have
become someone I no longer know,
your fears, your 4 am thoughts,
your achievements,
are things I no longer have an equivalent to.
Who we were and who we are
are four different people,
and the me from now
doesn't relate to the me from then,
let alone to the you from now.
-Tanzy Sayadi and Jarod Kintz "

― Jarod Kintz , liQUID PROse QUOtes

3 " - Why'd you even think I'd read your diploma before, during, or after buying 10 copies of it in an all-you-can-drink online bar?
- If I could drink what I read, I'd probably still be drunk on Joyce's Ulysses. I should've chased it with a racer.
-Stefan D and Jarod Kintz "

―

4 " When Jarod Kintz gets married, I want to wear his grandpa to the ceremony, telling everyone we're Siamese twins from the future-past. Meow. "

― Will Advise , Nothing is here...

5 " I'm gonna go put my earplugs in and practice piano for hours until my fingers bleed. I practice the piano with the focus of Helen Keller—and nothing can distract me from the scent of the music.
-Karen Quan and Jarod Kintz "

― Karen Quan

6 " When your heart starts to feel full again. I love FREE refills, and if a restaurant tries to double charge me, I refuse to write a love poem on their Yelp page.
-Karen Quan and Jarod Kintz "

― Jarod Kintz , liQUID PROse QUOtes

7 " My grandpa, unlike Jarod Kintz, was an Elder. Now that he's dead and gone, he's a ghost French wizard. And no one knows what French wizards are good at… "

― Will Advise , Nothing is here...

8 " If opportunity knocks, let it in. But with the way things are nowadays-I'd rather meet opportunity somewhere that's more public. I could meet opportunity in a coffee shop, but what if it works there? Well, I could suggest my grandma's basement.
-James Lee Schmidt and Jarod Kintz "

― James Lee Schmidt , liQUID PROse QUOtes

9 " This girl who's slept a hundred years has something after all. It's called Centuryitis, and it has turned me into a man. Oh, what will mamma think when she sees me?!
-Karen Quan and Jarod Kintz "

― Jarod Kintz , liQUID PROse QUOtes

10 " I hate when I'm not done with my cup but my mom decides to put it in the dishwasher anyway and the cup isn't dishwasher safe. I keep telling my mom that my origami coffee mugs are hand wash ONLY. Handshakes are also hand wash only.
-Karen Quan and Jarod Kintz "

― Jarod Kintz , liQUID PROse QUOtes

11 " I've often wondered - where do the people who WORK at coffee shops go to meet their friends - Do they go to Conference Rooms? And if they don't meet in conference rooms, I'd like them to know I'd be willing to rent out my grandma's basement.
-James Lee Schmidt and Jarod Kintz "

― James Lee Schmidt , liQUID PROse QUOtes

12 " A picture is worth a thousand words, but the way I paint I'm going to need to contact an editor. Even if I were to abstractly paint the phrase " I love you," it would be the visual equivalent of Joyce's Ulysses.-James Lee Schmidt and Jarod Kintz "

13 " It's super cloudy right now but I think I can see the northern lights from my room. Another observation: Every light is a strobe light, if you just blink fast enough, and drink enough vodka.
-Karen Quan and Jarod Kintz "

― Jarod Kintz , liQUID PROse QUOtes

14 " I dreamt that ‪@mark_wahlberg‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬ and his wife were our neighbors and we had dance parties in our living room and drank wine from solo cups. Everyone said I danced like I was doing parkour, and everyone laughed, until I fell off the roof and broke my neck.
-Crystal Woods and Jarod Kintz "

― Jarod Kintz , liQUID PROse QUOtes

15 " In days long past, Jarod said he’d write a sentence about my love, translated in Russian, and that sentence, like my love, is clearly not for sale, unlike his virginity, or this book, which I’m both offering at ten times the market value, so hurry up and buy now, before it goes down. "

― Will Advise , Nothing is here...

16 " I am Orafoura, but you can call me Jarod Kintz. I’m fairly proud to proclaim that Dora J. Arod has me on her short list of “World’s worst writers.” The list couldn’t get any shorter, because I’m the only name on it. I should tell her to stop calling it a list, and change the title to “World’s worst writer.” If you’re wondering why I rate all my work one star, it’s because the rating system doesn’t have a zero star option, or better yet, go into negative numbers. "

― Orafoura

17 " If Jarod Kintz was a cat, he'd stalk people silently and deadly. Right now, all he does is bark at them for no good reason, like all the good people do. "

― , Nothing is here...

18 " If I were offering hip replacement services I'd use Jarod Kintz as my spokesman. No one can possibly be better than him, to replace the missing spoke in your wheels. "

― Will Advise , Nothing is here...

19 " I really hate that I need my glasses while using my laptop. What I hate even more is that I need those glasses to be full of vodka at all times.
-Karen Quan and Jarod Kintz "

― Jarod Kintz , liQUID PROse QUOtes

20 " And I will wait for Jarod to work for me. For free, cause if it's paid, it's work and not love, unless, of course he loves to work, in which case he’ll surely love working for me, because I love people who love to do that to love to do that. "

― Will Advise , Nothing is here...

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