" many men would rather place themselves at risk than acknowledge distress, either physical or emotional. In The Things They Carried, Tim O’Brien gives a clear example of the force of men’s shame, when he remembers his fellow “grunts” in Vietnam: They carried their reputations. They carried the soldier’s greatest fear, which was the fear of blushing. Men killed, and died, because they were embarrassed not to. It was what brought them to the war in the first place, nothing positive, no dreams of glory or honor, just to avoid the blush of dishonor. They crawled into tunnels and walked point and advanced under fire. They were too frightened to be cowards. "

― Terrence Real , I Don't Want to Talk About It: Overcoming the Secret Legacy of Male Depression