" One quick glance around the room and I realise that I have somehow stumbled into a wannabe serial killer convention. Every single person in the room looks as if they are concealing a weapon of some sort. My heart thuds rapidly in my chest as I sneak past an elderly man who grins lecherously at me, flashing his gold tooth.

Oh dear God, I’m going to die!
First, I get dumped – on my birthday no less – and now I’m going to get knifed in some seedy bar! "

― Joanne McClean , Blue Eyes and Sweet Peach Pie