" First of all, I shouldn’t have ever had him come over to my apartment, if only because you don’t break up in person with somebody you like sleeping with. It’s dangerous. And if you do, yo do it in public so there’s no “one last time” sex, because that’s like saying you’re going to start a diet after you eat an entire pizza. "

― , I Don't Care About Your Band: Lessons Learned from Indie Rockers, Trust Funders, Pornographers, Felons, Faux-Sensitive Hipsters, and Other Guys I've Dated