" I can't - Kestrel, you must understand that I would never claim you. Calling you a prize - my prize - it was only words. But it worked. Cheat won't harm you, I swear that he won't, but you must...hide yourself a little. Help a little. Just tell us how much time we have before the battle. Give him a reason to decide you're not better off dead. Swallow your pride." " Maybe it's not as easy for me as it is for you." He wheeled on her. " It's not easy for me," " You know that it's not. What do you think I have had to swallow these past ten years? What do you think I have had to do to survive?" " Truly," she said, " I haven't the faintest interest. You may tell your sad story to someone else." He flinched as if slapped. His voice came low: " You can make people feel so small. "