" Let’s say that after I got in the box, I saw someone who knew me, and then out of shame, not wanting to appear insensitive, I turned and helped Mordechai gather his coins, all the while fuming that I was being made to do it. In that case, would I have been seeing him as a person while I was helping? "

― The Arbinger Institute , The Anatomy of Peace: Resolving the Heart of Conflict