" You’ve always kept your guard up around me,” Ryan said without any inflection in his voice.
“And I never noticed.”
James winced. “I had to. Or I’d be molesting you at every turn.”
Ryan was silent, his warm breath brushing James’s ear. God. When Ryan was so close, all he wanted was to crawl into Ryan’s lap, tear their clothes off and— Fuck, he must get a grip. He wasn’t drunk now. He had no excuse now.
“Jamie,” Ryan said. “I don’t give a shit. Molest me—I don’t fucking care. I’d take that over you being constantly on guard around me.”
A short laugh left James’s lips. “I appreciate the sentiment, but you have no idea what you’re talking about.”
It was Ryan’s turn to laugh. “No idea? Please. I’m not the one who’s kissed three people in my life.”
“You still don’t get it.”
“I do, you tosser.”
With a frustrated sigh, James turned his head and slammed their lips together. It was meant to be a lesson for Ryan, but he wasn’t prepared for how much it would shake him. A broken, desperate moan tore out of his throat and he plunged his tongue into Ryan’s mouth, found Ryan’s tongue and sucked on it, greedy, hungry, so hungry. It felt like he’d been thirsty for centuries, for eons, and God, God— He whimpered, sucking Ryan’s tongue deeper into his mouth, shaking with want—literally shaking. When Ryan’s arms wrapped tightly around him, Jamie completely lost it, all but crawling into Ryan’s lap and rubbing against him like a horny cat. A small, distant part of him was horrified—
Ryan must be disgusted—but he couldn’t stop. He needed this, needed him; he’d been starved for him for years and years and years. It hurt. It actually hurt, his balls aching and painful, his cock so stiff he couldn’t think straight, all the years of repressed desire finally out, like a dam broken, unleashed and unstoppable. A half-moan, half-sob of frustration broke from him as he willed himself to stop and breathe. He was shaking in Ryan’s arms, literally shaking, unable to calm down. He wanted. God, he wanted.
“Jesus, Jamie,” Ryan said, holding him close with one arm while the other—
The other hand pressed between James’s legs. James flinched with his entire body, his glazed eyes going wide as he tried to focus them on Ryan’s face. “What are you doing— "
― Alessandra Hazard , Just a Bit Confusing (Straight Guys, #5)