" There was a young man from Nantucket Who got hit on the head with a bucket It started to throb So he got out his knob And got all the nurses to suck it. I chuckled, then the hairs on the back of my neck started to prickle. I looked up to see Nurse Sarah (late twenties or early thirties, chirpy, on the cuddly side—she could have been Gary’s twin sister) reading over my shoulder. “Sorry, love,” she said. “This is the NHS. You’ll have to go private if you want that kind of service. "

― J.L. Merrow , Heat Trap (The Plumber’s Mate, #3)