" He groans loudly. “I’m staggering my way over there. It’s hard through the tears.” “Ah, makes sense, you’re so manly your eyes probably have no idea what tears are. Are they rejecting your body? Are they confused? Hurry up, Grandpa. Ooh, you know the whole Daddy thing? I don’t need a Daddy, I got a Grandpa.” He hangs up on me. “Well, I think that turned him on so much he was too flustered to hang on to the phone,” I tell an unconscious Jeffry. He’s a fantastic listener. "
― Alice Winters , How to Elude a Vampire (VRC: Vampire Related Crimes, #2)