QUOTE : Me: Literally any word? And I say it and we leave? Trace: Yup—any word or phrase. Say, for example, you were talking and wanted to go and said wiener. I would know it was time to leave. Me: As if I’d be able to use the word wiener in a sentence casually in front of all those people. Trace: It wouldn’t have to be in front of anyone—you could whisper wiener in my ear. This has got to be the strangest conversation I’ve ever had with a man, in my entire life. Me: Um, yeah, no. Trace: What about smegma. Or moist. Ointment. Me: LOL I laugh, imagining the look on a baseball player’s face—or a wife’s, or a girlfriend’s—if I used any of those words in a sentence. Trace: Wanker. Phlegm. Plunker. Flaps. Me: No! Where are you coming up with these? Trace: It has to be a word that is distinct so there is no mistaking it’s the escape word! Me: I get that, but does it have to be gross? Trace: What’s gross about the word plunker? Me: LOL Trace: Fine. How about…Daddy. Me: LOL Me: Nice try—I am NOT calling you Daddy in public. Trace: So what you’re saying is, you’ll call me Daddy in private? Me: LOL NO!