QUOTE : Ruby and Aaron are both crazy patient; they’re good parents.”<br /><br />“I could be a good dad,” Ivan whispered, still feeding Jess.<br /><br />I could have told him he’d be good at anything he wanted to be good at, but nah.<br /><br />“Do you want to have kids?” he asked me out of the blue.<br /><br />I handed Benny another block. “A long time from now, maybe.”<br /><br />“A long time… like how long?”<br /><br />That had me glancing at Ivan over my shoulder. He had his entire attention on Jessie, and I was pretty sure he was smiling down at her. Huh. “My early thirties, maybe? I don’t know. I might be okay with not having any either. I haven’t really thought about it much, except for knowing I don’t want to have them any time soon, you know what I mean?”<br /><br />“Because of figure skating?”<br /><br />“Why else? I barely have enough time now. I couldn’t imagine trying to train and have kids. My baby daddy would have to be a rich, stay-at-home dad for that to work.”<br /><br />Ivan wrinkled his nose at my niece. “There are at least ten skaters I know with kids.”<br /><br />I rolled my eyes and poked Benny in the side when he held out his little hand for another block. That got me a toothy grin. “I’m not saying it’s impossible. I just wouldn’t want to do it any time soon. I don’t want to half-ass or regret it. If they ever exist, I’d want them to be my priority. I wouldn’t want them to think they were second best.”<br /><br />Because I knew what that felt like. And I’d already screwed up enough with making grown adults I loved think they weren’t important. If I was going to do something, I wanted to do my best and give it everything.<br /><br />All he said was, “Hmm.”<br /><br />A thought came into my head and made my stomach churn. “Why? Are you planning on having kids any time soon?”<br /><br />“I wasn’t,” he answered immediately. “I like this baby though, and that one. Maybe I need to think about it.”<br /><br />I frowned, the feeling in my stomach getting more intense.<br /><br />He kept blabbing. “I could start training my kids really young…. I could coach them. Hmm.”<br /><br />It was my turn to wrinkle my nose. “Three hours with two kids and now you want them?”<br /><br />Ivan glanced down at me with a smirk. “With the right person. I’m not going to have them with just anybody and dilute my blood.”<br /><br />I rolled my eyes at this idiot, still ignoring that weird feeling in my belly that I wasn’t going to acknowledge now or ever. “God forbid, you have kids with someone that’s not perfect. Dumbass.”<br /><br />“Right?” He snorted, looking down at the baby before glancing back at me with a smile I wasn’t a fan of. “They might come out short, with mean, squinty, little eyes, a big mouth, heavy bones, and a bad attitude.”<br /><br />I blinked. “I hope you get abducted by aliens.”<br /><br />Ivan laughed, and the sound of it made me smile. “You would miss me.”<br /><br />All I said, while shrugging was, “Meh. I know I’d get to see you again someday—”<br /><br />He smiled.<br /><br />“—in hell.”<br /><br />That wiped the look right off his face. “I’m a good person. People like me.”<br /><br />“Because they don’t know you. If they did, somebody would have kicked your ass already.”<br /><br />“They’d try,” he countered, and I couldn’t help but laugh.<br /><br />There was something wrong with us.<br /><br />And I didn’t hate it. Not even a little bit.