" they dictate how each person is to behave and what he can and cannot feel. The most common role distortions of the preschool years are: Superresponsible One, Overachiever, Rebel, Underachiever, People Pleaser (nice guy/sweetheart), Caretaker, and Offender. This lack of individual identity is why dysfunctional families are dominated by toxic guilt. Healthy guilt is the guardian of conscience. It develops out of a healthy sense of shame; it is the moral dimension of healthy shame. The toddler’s shame is premoral and mostly preverbal. "

― John Bradshaw , Homecoming: Reclaiming and Healing Your Inner Child