" 4. Now say, “And that makes you feel angry/frustrated/ disappointed/upset or what exactly….” Pick the word you think best describes what the person feels. If the person corrects you, ask the person to say what the actual feeling is and repeat it back and get another “Yes.” Remember that when someone attaches a word to a feeling, it lowers agitation. That’s critical. "

― Mark Goulston , Just Listen: Discover the Secret to Getting Through to Absolutely Anyone