" Rescuing or enabling is not an act of love. We don't rescue because we love; we rescue because we want to gain a false sense of control over someone else. We rescue because we are repeating a pattern from childhood as a way of avoiding our feelings of helplessness. We rescue because we assume the other person can't handle the responsibility of his own feelings, because we can't tell the truth, because we can't say no, or because we are afraid the other person will get angry with us. And, most important, we rescue because we don't feel good about ourselves. We don't feel lovable, so we settle for being needed. We don't feel good about ourselves, so we feel compelled to be 'good' by rescuing someone else. "

― Beverly Engel , The Emotionally Abused Woman: Overcoming Destructive Patterns and Reclaiming Yourself